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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many students find it difficult to focus or pay attention at school nowadays. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

#students #focus #attention #school
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Many school-going children are facing attention deficit problems in school.
This
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 is
due to
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 major distractions
such
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 as social media and the high volume of stress in their
life
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. Proper counselling and guidance can resolve these issues.
Firstly
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, we have to focus on the reason for the distractions in
students
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'
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. The excessive use of social media and more dedication towards virtual images takes a lot of time and effort,
hence
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 minimizing the focus on
education
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. Taking the example of Apple reports, children aged 12-16 years use mobile phones approximately 8 to 12 hours per day. The second reason can be
contributed
Verb problem
attributed
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 to the high stress in
students
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' lifestyles.
Students
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 nowadays are facing huge competition in terms of career and
life
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. Taking a real-
life
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 example, a class 5th student is expected to choose subjects based on his future career. Most of the
students
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 end up taking subjects under peer pressure.
This
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result
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results
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 in slowly losing interest in studies and ending up frustrated and disturbed.
Furthermore
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, steps should be taken to acknowledge these problems.
Students
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 should be educated on the disadvantages of using social media. They should be counselled on what subjects to be chosen on
basis
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the basis
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 of interests.
Overall
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 every student is unique and should be approached in a different manner. In conclusion, the purpose of
education
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 is to impart knowledge in
such
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 a manner that children can actually learn the greater purpose of
life
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,
that is
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education
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 is a bridge to achieving something bigger in
life
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. It
also
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 is the responsibility of guardians and teachers to guide them to achieve high-quality
education
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.
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coherence cohesion
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points. Additionally, ensure a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively summarize your ideas.
task response
You have addressed the main points, but you could provide more depth in your explanations and expand on the solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • distractions
  • focus
  • pay attention
  • lack of interest
  • motivation
  • fatigue
  • sleep
  • classroom environment
  • teaching methods
  • technology addiction
  • social media
  • peer pressure
  • workload
  • support
  • active learning strategies
  • engaging
  • student-centered teaching
  • realistic goals
  • rewards
  • balanced lifestyle
  • screen time
  • breaks
  • physical activity
  • support and guidance
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