Teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree?

#teenagers #community #work #time #benefit

Experiencing

community

has been highlighted over the

last

decades. From

this

aspect, questions about whether

teenagers

should be needed to do unpaid

community

in their downtime are raised. In my opinion, unpaid

work

for the

community

is desirable for

teenagers

to some extent. Evidently, the probability that

teenagers

could learn sociality from

this

activity is high.

This

is because

teenagers

can experience teamwork and communication skills when they

working

Wrong verb form

work

show examples

This

undoubtedly

improve

Change the verb form

improves

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

social skills and

this

in turn

Add the comma(s)

, in turn,

show examples

leads them to help

finding

Change the verb form

to find

show examples

their career. so that they will be able to find a job they like. What is more,

although

some

community

works require physical energy, youth can realize the value of

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

through

this

hard

work

. In actual fact, social studies undertaken by experts have revealed that

teenagers

are likely to find it difficult to

work

while working,

therefore

these

Correct pronoun usage

this

show examples

working leads to careful consumption.

Nevertheless

, even if it is easy

work

Add the particle

to work

show examples

, unpaid

work

is unreasonable.

In other words

, since

teenagers

are more likely to experience similar jobs to ordinary workers in

community

Add an article

the community

show examples

, unpaid

work

reduces interest and the chances of hard

work

. To recapitulate,

teenagers

could learn sociality from

this

activity and youth can realize the value of

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

through

this

hard

work

although

unpaid

work

is unreasonable. But

still

Add a comma

,still

show examples

unpaid

work

for the

community

is desirable for

teenagers

Submitted by ssanghwa12 on Thu Dec 01 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

223 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

mandatory
unpaid community work
benefit
responsibility
empathy
valuable skills
positive impact
community
social integration
cultural understanding
personal growth
self-confidence

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Teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

The best way that a government can reduce the traffic congestion in cities is to provide public transport free of cost to people 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?