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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
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Nowadays,
as a result
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 of progress in technology a significant number of children are spending many hours every day on their smartphones, In
this
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 essay, I will discuss if it is a positive or negative development. 
To begin
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 with, sadly, a few families
instead
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 of spending their leisure time with their offspring   they buy them tablets. In order to keep them busy,
thus
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, they can mind their own business. 
Accordingly
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, as kids are spending less time compared to the past we can expect children to have mental issues in the future
such
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 as depression or anxiety.
Second
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, despite ,warnings there is no certainty that children will avoid sites which are not appropriate for them, they may learn or see some stuff which is soon for their age.
Thus
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, it can cause some health problems like soon puberty, which in a few cases may be dangerous as they do not grow in height enough.
For instance
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, in Iran there is a rapid decrease in the age of kids who are experiencing puberty, so, causing worries for their loved ones.
Third
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,
instead
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 of learning new skills,
for example
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, language classes. Parents are using cell phones as something alternative with no meaningful use.
On the other hand
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, some may consider buying cell phones be a brilliant idea as they have access to many cartoons and games.
Therefore
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, they can learn things from playing and watching
besides
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 having fun.
Also
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, they may think the new generations are different from the old ones as many things have changed and it is good to be attached to the new life.
For instance
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, influencers on Instagram are actually earning money from their offspring playing games. In conclusion, these days, some young ones are spending time on mobiles and tablets. I believe it is a life-threatening and negative trend.
Submitted by meli_kh3000 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
What to do next:
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