IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

People in major cities suffer from high levels of air pollution that causes health problems for many. Explain possible reasons for this problem and suggest some solutions.

#people #cities #levels #air #pollution #health
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There has been much discussion revolving around whether significant cities are filled with a hindrance amount of
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 which can have a tragic plight on citizens in the long run.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explain the causes and provide possible solutions. Convincing arguments can be made that, nowadays, because of the increasing population in the major cities more people get to drive
cars
Use synonyms
 every day. The fumes that car produces are toxic and deforms into
pollution
Use synonyms
 when in the
air
Use synonyms
. What is more, the heat
that is
Linking Words
 being used to warm up buildings is as toxic as
cars
Use synonyms
. The heat after exiting the place fills up the
air
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the result of damaging the ozone levels. The material coming from houses turns into fumes that humans breathe. While a citizen breathes the
air
Use synonyms
 it congests
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the lungs putting a person's life in peril creating a potential risk of cancer. If not addressed properly,
this
Linking Words
 could have a negative impact which is why it is compulsory to demonstrate solutions possible. It is mandatory to decrease the amounts of
cars
Use synonyms
 driven in the city. It can be followed by driving electric
cars
Use synonyms
 to prevent hindrance to health and in that way decrease
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the heat
that is
Linking Words
 being used to warm up buildings these days should be changed to some materials that are natural.
For example
Linking Words
, using a sewage system underground in those major cities in that way making less toxic fumes that go into the
air
Use synonyms
 and creates an obvious pitfall. The problem of not considering the hindrance of
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 being caused every day by human sources
such
Linking Words
 as
cars
Use synonyms
 and heating creates numerous dangerous risks. If not understanding the issue, that can create a possible risk of crucial health issues
such
Linking Words
 as cancer.
Submitted by oimigle on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: