At the present time, the popualtion of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays in our
world
number
of young adults bigger compare to the old Correct article usage
the number
Correct your spelling
people
peopl
. So does it good or not ? Correct your spelling
people
Personally
I reckon that has some benefits
Add a comma
,Personally
Firstly
the first
and main andventage
it is the growth of population. Correct your spelling
advantage
This
is mean that the number of human beings are not decrease
, so humanity will not die out. Change the verb form
are not decreased
are not decreasing
Secondly
it is good because Add a comma
,Secondly
of
today the Change preposition
apply
world
needs every day something new Correct your spelling
for
fore
example new discoveries, new inventions etc. So Correct your spelling
for
that is
mean that world
Correct article usage
the world
need
new brains and new thought and Change the verb form
needs
to generate
all Change the verb form
generating
this
new thought can help young adults Correct determiner usage
these
,
because they have another ideology.
Remove the comma
apply
However
it is bad too that now every year there are fewer and fewer old people. Add a comma
,However
Firstly
because they have already clever and wise. You know that it could be strange
Add an article
a strange
Correct your spelling
for
fore
example if USA or UK or France etc. would lead Correct your spelling
for
person
who Correct article usage
a person
in
Add a missing verb
is in
30
-40 age group. Correct article usage
the 30
This
person would not give a
hope Correct article usage
apply
for
Change preposition
to
Add an article
the citizen
a citizen
citizen
that he would lead the entire country and with Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
country
will be everything Add an article
the country
Correct your spelling
okay
okey
. Correct your spelling
okay
However
person who in the age group Add a comma
,However
from
50 to 70 years old give more power of attorney that with Change preposition
of
county
will be everything Add an article
the county
Correct your spelling
okay
okey
. Correct your spelling
okay
Firstly
because he or she has a big experience secondly
he or she wiser
than Add a missing verb
is wiser
young
adult.
In conclusion of Correct article usage
a young
course
Add an article
the course
a course
in
our modern Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
world
needs new thought
and with it can help young adults but to make Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
this thought
, projects etc successful help old Fix the agreement mistake
these thoughts
Correct your spelling
society
sosiaty
Correct your spelling
society
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite