IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

You live in a house opposite a park. Every day a man brings large dogs to the park and lets them run free. Write a letter to your local council complaining about the danger. In your letter -say where the park is, -say how often this happens -give a description of the man and the dogs.

#house #park #man #dogs #council #danger #-say #-give #description
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to address a situation that we locals are facing every day in our nearest
park
. I am living in the "Home of the Garden" society and there is a big and open
park
 nearby where lots of people come with their children and friends to spend some time and play. But, These days we are afraid to go to the
park
 because one middle-aged person brings his dogs every evening and lets them run freely without any thought about the kids playing around. We had words with him regarding the situation and asked him to chain their pets as they are a dangerous breed of animal and big in size
also
,
however
, he is refusing to control them and said he would not tie them with a leash and we should go to the other
park
 with our children which is not
according to
 the society law. I want you to take strict action against
this
 as it is a matter of a child's security because we do not know when those dogs can hurt our child. Please look into
this
 issue as soon as you can. I am awaiting your response. Yours Faithfully, Diksha
Submitted by maildiksha001 on

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coherence cohesion
To increase coherence and cohesion, use clear transition phrases to connect ideas between paragraphs. This will make your writing flow more smoothly.
task achievement
Ensure clarity by providing a bit more detail about the location of the park within the 'Home of the Garden' society, as this will aid the local council in pinpointing the exact location.
task achievement
The letter appropriately identifies the problem and includes specific details, such as the location of the park and the man's refusal to control his dogs. This demonstrates a clear and complete response to the task.
task achievement
The writing tone is polite and formal, suitable for a letter to the local council.
coherence cohesion
The letter includes a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, enhancing its overall readability.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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