IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet. What problems may this trend lead to? What solutions would you recomend?

#development #media #youngsters #access #internet #trend #recomend
With the advancement of technology and ease of access ,youngsters nowadays are exposed to unsupervised access to social media.
This
 usually has a negative impact on the minds of the younger generation .In
this
 essay, I am going to discuss some of the ill effects of social media
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and shall suggest ways to tackle them. Teenagers carrying mobile phones is a norm these days and it's not practically possible for parents or guardians to monitor their child's actions every time.
Although
 the internet is a boon to the present generation in terms of education, worldwide access and connectivity, it can
also
 be addictive and keep these young minds engrossed.
Furthermore
, it
also
 distracts them away from studies and other important things that are essential for their proper development. Virtual reality can have a very negative influence on youngsters if not used well at
this
 age as they are unable to distinguish between what's good and bad for them and end up wasting energy browsing the internet. Rather than spending time on studies and sports which are beneficial, teenagers get carried away with the glitz and glamour of Instagram and Facebook, unaware that real life may not be the same. They may fall for pornography and sexual exploitation. There have
also
 been examples of violence committed by youngsters influenced by their online activity. They may
also
 get demanding and ask for things which their parents cannot afford.
Furthermore
, they might get competitive because of the influence of bloggers on social media which can have some serious consequences of them getting into stealing and other crimes. In conclusion, I would like to emphasise that parents need to spend quality time with their children and supervise their browsing history as much as possible to make sure they don't fall under any bad influence available online.
Furthermore
, teachers at school can play an effective role by counselling young minds about the downside of the internet.
Submitted by drbismamalik on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: