It is predicted that robotsare going to become increasingly important in our lives. How could robots be used in the future? Will this development be a positive or a negative development?

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It is anticipated that
robots
are about to become a crucial factor in our
lives
in the future.
This
author believes that mankind could use
robots
in one way.
Moreover
, I reckon that it is a positive evolution for two reasons which are about to be debated in the following essay. To commence with,
robots
could be used in occupations which
have
Verb problem
pose
show examples
serious threats to humans. With
this
substitution, humans are no longer at risk of any harsh situation.
For example
, firefighters always struggle with danger and life-threatening circumstances every day.
In addition
, the rate of unwanted incidents
such
as death is increasing rapidly among these people.
Thus
, by using
robots
as rescue teams in detrimental situations, we could secure the
lives
of firefighters.
Therefore
,
robots
could be used
instead
of black-collar workers with jeopardising occupations.
Furthermore
, the usage of
robots
and their essentiality in the future is regarded as a positive movement. First of all,
this
decision could protect many workforces'
lives
namely oil company labour forces and firefighters.
Additionally
, the pressure of their vocations could be reduced remarkably since no danger is going to hurt them anymore.
As a consequence
, men's happiness would be increased. To elucidate, an investigation
was taken
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
place
last
year in which 30 black-collar workers were examined. 25 out of 30 workforces were diagnosed with severe depression
as a result
of work pressure.
Also
, all 30 workers have lost coworkers
due to
unwelcome accidents.
Hence
,
this
substitution could benefit many people by making their occupations safer and reducing their unbearable struggle at work which could result in better happiness. In conclusion, some people predict that
robots
are going to be essential for our
lives
.
Consequently
, we could use
robots
in jobs which deal with danger the most, and I assume it is positively progressive for mankind in the future.
Submitted by nazi.tbt on

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task achievement
Ensure your thesis statement clearly states both aspects you will discuss in the essay, which are how robots could be used and whether it would be a positive or negative development.
task achievement
Some parts of your essay could be developed further to fully address the question, providing more examples and discussing both sides of the development being positive or negative.
coherence cohesion
Maintain clear connections between ideas to enhance logical progression, and try to use linking words more effectively to improve the flow.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong introduction that clearly sets the context for the discussion.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, particularly regarding how robots could be beneficial in dangerous jobs.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion nicely wraps up the argument and reinforces your main points, showing consistency in your position.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • automation
  • precision
  • personalized learning
  • environmental conservation
  • workplace injuries
  • creative and strategic roles
  • companionship
  • monitor health conditions
  • job displacement
  • dependency on technology
  • interpersonal relationships
  • privacy and security concerns
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