In some parts of the world, people have become more focused on themselves than their communities. What problems can this situation cause and how can they be solved?

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There is the
tendention
Correct your spelling
intention
that
people
Use synonyms
are more concentrated on
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
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life than their family, team or society.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
situation becomes the reason
of
Change preposition
for
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a lot of problems our community creates solutions. In
this
Linking Words
essay
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,essay
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I am going to discuss both issues and troubles. Despite the fact that
SOCIAL
Correct article usage
the SOCIAL
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network is spread nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
are more alone than they were. It happens everywhere with
millions
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ofmillions
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people
Use synonyms
,
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apply
show examples
because they want to see
Add an article
the reaction
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reaction
Fix the agreement mistake
reactions
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on
Change preposition
to
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their own photos and videos which they upload to Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.
As a result
Linking Words
,
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
are not ready to answer
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each ‘like’ or comment.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they care only about
quantity
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the quantity
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of subscribers
by
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on
show examples
their own
a
Correct article usage
apply
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channel or
a
Correct article usage
apply
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web page.
Linking Words
Also
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,Also
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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most
people
Use synonyms
can not feel true emotions when they just seat in front of a screen, when they are online only, due to the fact that they do not keep in real touch.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many understand that life balance is not possible without
alive
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live
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conversations and sharing emotions. In spite of the time and
work
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,work
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we should seek
opportunity
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opportunities
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to come to our families, colleagues and friends in offline life.
Although
Linking Words
almost everybody has a smartphone nothing
replace
Correct subject-verb agreement
replaces
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sincere meetings.
For instance
Linking Words
, when I miss my parents during my university time, I decided to buy
Add an article
a ticket
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ticket
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tickets
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to
Change preposition
for
show examples
them very soon. They were very surprised
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because my mother and father did not expect to see me. So, we spent
beautiful
Correct article usage
a beautiful
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time together, which we remind sometimes and realize
an
Correct article usage
the
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importance
Replace the word
important
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to keep community.
Sum
Fix the infinitive
To sum
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up,
people
Use synonyms
are allowed to have
private
Add an article
a private
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area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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in their social networks, where they can focus on themselves.
However
Linking Words
, we must not forget to keep in touch with our family and friends
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
offline.
Submitted by alex.i.leontev on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social isolation
  • Mental health issues
  • Community participation
  • Social cohesion
  • Civic pride
  • Volunteerism
  • Charitable contributions
  • Collective responsibility
  • Cultural heritage
  • Educational campaigns
  • Collective action
  • Tax deductions
  • Recognition programs
  • Mentorship
  • Community leadership
  • Intergenerational interactions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: