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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some childeren spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think is a positive or a negative development?

#childeren #hours #smartphones #case #development
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Nowadays most people spent oodles of their
time
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 using their
smartphones
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 ,especially heir who use their cell
phones
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 for hours each day. Now the question is what reasons effects of using
smartphones
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.
Add a missing verb
are.
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 With the development of technology every ,year
lots
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 of useful applications are introduced to the world to respond to the needs of society. Social media applications and video games are the most popular usage of
smartphones
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 among teenagers. After the pandemic for 2 or 3 years education have held online so students have to use their
phones
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 more langer than before the covid issue. Despite some good benefits of
smartphones
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, I think that the
time
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 of using them must be limited to avoid
children
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 wasting their precious
moment
Fix the agreement mistake
moments
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 wondering about in internet with their
phones
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, I think using
phones
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 can have a very bad effect on social behaviour and
children
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 will suffer some
problems
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 contacting others in the city and work. The other big issue is lack of movement among
children
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 will cause
lots
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 of physical
problems
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such
Linking Words
 as fatness and spinal core
problems
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.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
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 we can see the number of fat students in schools is way more than the number of overweight
children
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 compares
in
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to in
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 the past, We cannot bypass the good advantages of
smartphones
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. Now with a small device in our ,pocket we can do
lots
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 of things and cannot do everyone in no
time
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. Citizens can read the news and be aware of what is going on or search online to solve their
problems
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 in any place. As a
,
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apply
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result I can conclude that
smartphones
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 are useful appliances with
lots
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 of abilities but even if the
time
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 of using them does not be controlled and watched by parents,
Children
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 may lose
lots
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 of their
time
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 and suffer major
problems
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 in the future.
Submitted by nargeszare28 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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