Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefit

Nowadays apply many

people

believe children should do unpaid society service more than play a game or do other activities in their free time. Society and

youngster

Fix the agreement mistake

youngsters

show examples

will benefit from

this

unpaid society.

First

of all,I think I strongly agree with

this

concept,and I will show you two logics why I agree with

this

idea.The

first

reason is youngster will have more vision

Change preposition

for

show examples

careers

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

when young

people

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

works their will do different jobs and I think

this

is good for

teenagers

if they can know

first

what career their want to be in the future.

For example

, if young peoples work in a hospital they will be aware of the various careers that are available in the hospital and will have enough information to

decide

Add the particle

todecide

show examples

apply the future whether their want to work in the hospital or not. The

second

reason is that they can help other

people

because sometimes a community job is to help

people

in the hospital or clean up the streets in the city. I believe they can make our country better than it was before.

For instance

,if

teenagers

clean up roads, they will make the country purer, and if young

people

help in the hospital, they can help wounded

people

go to find a doctor or healing place in the hospital so I think

this

is helpful to our country. In conclusion, I completely believe

teenagers

should do unpaid work service for the community if they have free time because

this

is beneficial for both

teenagers

and the community.

Submitted by Tum01230 on Fri Dec 02 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

255 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

required
unpaid
community work
benefit
teenagers
life skills
volunteering
empathy
compassion
socially aware
responsible
interact
diverse backgrounds
cultural understanding
tolerance
work experience
essential skills
employment
interests
passions
career development
contribute
betterment
development
local community
mental well-being
stress
self-esteem
burden
academic
personal lives
time management
support
balance
participate
encouraged
numerous benefits
individuals
conclusion

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Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

People work because they need money to live. What are some other reasons that people work? Discuss one or more of these reasons. Use specific examples and details to support your answer.

Some feel that individuals should have the right to strike in all jobs while others feel there are exceptions. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

The impacts of increasing life expectancy to people and society In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

many people nowadays tend to marry and have children in their thirties rather then at a younger age.is this a positive or negative development?

Doctors recommend that older people should exercise regularly. However, many of them do not exercise enough. What are the causes? What can be done to encourage them to exercise?