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Band 7.5

Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we be concerned about this? What solutions would you suggest? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#health #warnings #people #smoke #world #reason
Smoking is an expensive habit which pollutes the environment and carries
a serious health risks
Correct the article-noun agreement
serious health risks
a serious health risk
show examples
, yet a
third
 of the men in the world smoke. It is
also
 a sad fact that one in five teenagers takes up the habit when they are as young as 11. Of course, there is one interest group, the tobacco industry, which is more than happy with
this
 situation, since its profits depend on our addiction to cigarettes. These statistics are particularly depressing because the link between smoking and cancer, heart disease and other serious illnesses has been known for many years. We must
also
 remember that apart from harming the individual, smoking represents a huge cost to society. The money we spend on treating smoking-related diseases could be used for much better purposes,
such
 as helping to feed the world’s poor or paying for medical research. So why, despite all the evidence, do
people
 still smoke? The obvious answer is that cigarettes are highly addictive so it can be extremely difficult to give up. Another answer is the power of peer pressure, especially amongst young
people
. In my view, the most important thing is to discourage
people
 from starting to smoke, and we could do
this
 by increasing the tax on tobacco and banning cigarette advertising. I
also
 feel that
people
 who want to quit should be given as much advice and support as possible. In conclusion, I believe that we should do everything we can to reduce the number of smokers in society.
However
, it is not enough to provide information about health risks, we
also
 need to use a variety of strategies to tackle the problem.
Submitted by ET21002ndgroup on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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