IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It is argued that
children
Use synonyms
 should be motivated to be competitive,
while
Linking Words
 others feel that teaching them to be cooperative will be of more value as they enter adulthood. I believe that
while
Linking Words
competition
Use synonyms
 can help
children
Use synonyms
 be successful, cooperation is more important because it teaches them to
work
Use synonyms
 within a team, a crucial adult skill. Some argue that instilling a sense of
competition
Use synonyms
 in
children
Use synonyms
 helps them to achieve success in whatever they do.
This
Linking Words
 is because being competitive creates a drive to win, which teaches them that hard
work
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 and discipline are the keys to success.
For example
Linking Words
, it is often the case that
children
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 who participate in competitive sports are less likely to quit when things are difficult and are,
therefore
Linking Words
, more likely to overcome obstacles in their jobs as adults. Despite
this
Linking Words
, I would argue that
children
Use synonyms
 require lessons on teamwork more than the will to win. If
children
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 are taught to be cooperative, they learn the importance of working in a team, which is something adults are expected to do. Through working with others,
children
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 learn not only how to respect different opinions but
also
Linking Words
 how to pool their strengths.
For instance
Linking Words
, preschools include cooperation as one of the first skills in their curriculum as they recognise that it is a vital social skill in all spheres of life. I
therefore
Linking Words
 believe that teaching
children
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 with others is more important than giving them a sense of
competition
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. In conclusion,
while
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 instilling a sense of
competition
Use synonyms
 in
children
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 can help them succeed, I think that teaching
children
Use synonyms
 to be cooperative gives them the ability to
work
Use synonyms
 as part of a team, which is far more valuable later in life

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sense of competition
  • encourage
  • cooperate
  • useful adults
  • resilience
  • perseverance
  • motivation
  • goals
  • excellence
  • work ethic
  • personal accountability
  • interpersonal skills
  • empathy
  • teamwork
  • effective communication
  • community
  • belonging
  • emotional well-being
  • globalized
  • interconnected
  • collaborate
  • balanced approach
  • individual achievement
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