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Band 2

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies
Some people said that it is good for young people to
work
 or
travel
 for a
year
 between finishing high school and starting university studies. Here is my opinion.
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
One
Correct your spelling
On
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 the one hand,
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 or
travel
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 for
year
Add an article
a year
show examples
between
Change preposition
after
show examples
 finishing high school can improve the
ability
 to social life. Nowadays children are often spoilt,
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 means that children grow up without consideration for others and without
understanding
Add an article
an understanding
the understanding
show examples
 of where their life standards come from. Working for a
year
 may let them know how hard the
work
 is and how lucky they live in
this
Correct your spelling
situation
situaction
Correct your spelling
situation
 right now. It can
also
 improve the
ability
of working
Replace the preposition
to work
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 group,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is a very important
ability
 when they get into
the
Correct article usage
apply
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university. While about
travel
, it can
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 relaxed and improve the
ability
of talking
Replace the preposition
to talk
show examples
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people they never meet before and knowing the different couture in
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
 country.
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
One
Correct your spelling
On
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 the other hand,
work
 or
travel
 for a
year
 may let them forget the feeling of
Correct your spelling
studying
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
. It may
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 them can not find their groove when they
getting
Wrong verb form
get
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in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 the university. All in all, every coin has two
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
.You can
decided
Change the verb form
decide
show examples
 with your parents.
Submitted by melindaguan0704 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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