In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sport or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In some parts of the world,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

hire
personal
Add an article
a personal

The noun phrase personal trainer seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
trainer
Fix the agreement mistake
trainers

It seems that trainer may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of doing regular sports and attending exercise classes to improve their fitness.In my opinion ,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is a positive trend ,and
the
Change preposition
in the

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
following paragraphs of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay I am going to tell some reasons for
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

development and whether
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is a positive or negative development.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with,many countries have dramatically progressed in technology . The result behind
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is the
significans
Correct your spelling
significant
significance

If you don’t want significans to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

improvemnet
Correct your spelling
improvement

If you don’t want improvemnet to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
fitness
Correct article usage
the fitness

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
consciousness of the community.
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Moreover. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
they
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

have grown economically as compared to they were in past which has provided a quality of life for their citizens.It has led
in
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
affording enough to pay a personal trainer for their regular activities.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of increasing their
Correct your spelling
awareness
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness

If you don’t want awarness to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and
better
Add an article
a better

The noun phrase better lifestyle seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
lifestyle,they are hiring
personal
Add an article
a personal

The noun phrase personal coach seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
coach
Fix the agreement mistake
coaches

It seems that coach may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
for giving advice and guiding them to do regular
Correct your spelling
physical
phisical
Correct your spelling
physical

If you don’t want phisical to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

activities.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,nowadays
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

would rather have someone to guide them and encourage them while doing exercise.The reason behind
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is the busy lifestyle of the majority of individuals.To be more clear , they have different work timings depending on the time of job and
Correct your spelling
generally
generaly
Correct your spelling
generally

If you don’t want generaly to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

now
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are working more hours than
past
Change preposition
in past

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
.So, it should help them to hire
a personal trainers
Correct the article-noun agreement
a personal trainer
personal trainers

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun trainers in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

show examples
to control them and encourage them to do additional workouts to improve their energy.In considering, the fact of busy lifestyle of
community
Add an article
the community

The noun phrase community seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
, hiring a personal coach is a really good trend because it helps both men and women to improve their energy standards. In conclusion, I reiterate having an individual physical consultant is essential and growing advancement happening in the world. Especially when
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

get busy with their lives.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fitness
  • Health
  • Personalized
  • Effective
  • Workout routines
  • Motivation
  • Guidance
  • Busy schedules
  • Limited time
  • One-on-one training
  • Qualified
  • Experienced
  • Overall well-being
What to do next:
Look at other essays: