research indicates that the characterisitcs we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

#research #characterisitcs #influence #personality #development #experiences #life

Many scholars point out that the behaviour and attributes of a person are greatly influenced by genes themselves more than the endeavours and occurrences that

happened

Wrong verb form

happen

show examples

in one's

life

. In my personal viewpoint, both innate components and

life

experiences are factors that equally contribute to the intellect, manners or actions of a person. In

this

essay, I intend to discuss both arguments and support my views.

According to

Gregor Mendel, a gene is the basic unit of heredity passed from parent to child.

This

means that some of the characteristics of a person have

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

a big possibility that will be passed on to their offspring. There are a lot of studies that support

this

theory. Take our own families as an example. If a father can sing, 50% or even 100% of his children can probably sing too. Some known geniuses may have handed down their intellect to their offspring or even to the next generation of their families,

On the other hand

, we cannot deny the fact that

life

experiences

also

have a major contribution to our behavioural and mental patterns. The people around us can affect how we act and interact with other individuals.

In addition

to that, the previous occurrence

such

as major issues at work or in the family made us stronger and more knowledgeable. Studying which is not present at the time we were born considerably plays a part in our cognitive enhancement. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that it is indeed true that genes have a huge impact on our personality. But it is indubitable to say that

life

occurrences and past experiences

also

play an important role in moulding our personalities.

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task response

Your essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a balanced viewpoint which is great. However, make sure to provide more detailed examples to support your points and strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well structured and provide a clear overview of your stance. To improve coherence, work on linking your ideas more smoothly between paragraphs and consider using transition words to enhance the flow of your essay.

task response

Balanced discussion of both genetic influence and life experiences on personality development

coherence cohesion

Well-structured introduction and conclusion

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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research indicates that the characterisitcs we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Schools concentrate far too much on traditional subjects which do not adequately prepare students for the realistic demainds of the modern working world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the art and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?