research indicates that the characterisitcs we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

Many scholars point out that the behaviour and attributes of a person are greatly influenced by genes themselves more than the endeavours and occurrences that
happened
Wrong verb form
happen
show examples
in one's
life
. In my personal viewpoint, both innate components and
life
experiences are factors that equally contribute to the intellect, manners or actions of a person. In
this
essay, I intend to discuss both arguments and support my views.
According to
Gregor Mendel, a gene is the basic unit of heredity passed from parent to child.
This
means that some of the characteristics of a person have
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a big possibility that will be passed on to their offspring. There are a lot of studies that support
this
theory. Take our own families as an example. If a father can sing, 50% or even 100% of his children can probably sing too. Some known geniuses may have handed down their intellect to their offspring or even to the next generation of their families,
On the other hand
, we cannot deny the fact that
life
experiences
also
have a major contribution to our behavioural and mental patterns. The people around us can affect how we act and interact with other individuals.
In addition
to that, the previous occurrence
such
as major issues at work or in the family made us stronger and more knowledgeable. Studying which is not present at the time we were born considerably plays a part in our cognitive enhancement. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that it is indeed true that genes have a huge impact on our personality. But it is indubitable to say that
life
occurrences and past experiences
also
play an important role in moulding our personalities.
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task response
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a balanced viewpoint which is great. However, make sure to provide more detailed examples to support your points and strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well structured and provide a clear overview of your stance. To improve coherence, work on linking your ideas more smoothly between paragraphs and consider using transition words to enhance the flow of your essay.
task response
Balanced discussion of both genetic influence and life experiences on personality development
coherence cohesion
Well-structured introduction and conclusion

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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