social media is becoming increasingly popular among all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media does have risks. Do the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #age #groups #information #risks

While

People

from all age groups are showing more tendency towards social

media

, putting up personal information on online websites is not a safe option. In my view, the usage of social

media

can have some benefits.

This

is not to say that it has many hazards

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but brings opportunities for

people

to access conveniently updated news and communicate easily from all over the world which is really beneficial.

Therefore

, the pros of using social

media

surpass its cons. In

this

regard, I will examine

such

opinion in detail as follows: There are many advantages to online platforms.

Firstly

, it keeps

people

abreast of local and global events.

This

is to say that it helps users to stay up-to-date with the latest news. Most

people

depend more on digital platforms for cutting-edge news rather than buying ordinary newspapers as they are more updated and can easily be reached at any time.

Secondly

, social

media

help

people

to get in touch with each other wherever they are and without any effort or wasting time.

For example

, if you have a friend in another country, you can communicate with each other at any time.

Finally

, with

such

mentioned positive points, negative points can be overlooked.

Conversely

, there are some drawbacks to social

media

Since they put user’s life at risk.

In other words

, because online websites ask for personal information, it would lead to many security problems.

for instance

people

are under threat of being robbed by hackers through the usage of

such

websites. In spite of

this

, the advantages of online

media

are more than their disadvantages. To sum up,

although

the safety of online platform users might be in danger, benefits

such

as connecting those who are far from each other and its up-to-date features make it reliable to use.

Submitted by TUTOO on Sun Dec 04 2022

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

300 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

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Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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