IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Once children enter school, teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social developments than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. You should write at least 254 words.

#children #school #teachers #influence #developments #parents
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In the contemporary
development
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 of
children
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, after they enter schools
educators
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 have more control over
children
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's social and cognitive
development
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. I completely agree with the aforementioned statement and the following essay will elaborate
further
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 with relevant examples.
To begin
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 with, even though
children
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 live with their parents the support for the enhancement of their cognitive ability from
teachers
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 is more effective. Because the activities
educators
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 provide and the subject guide develop the brain function and thinking abilities of youngsters. As an example, mathematics activities provided for
children
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 in schools allow them to solve problems in the future.
Thus
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, encouraging
children
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 to engage in several activities plays an important role in their mental structure.
On the other hand
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, it is evident that
teachers
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 help students to develop their social interaction skills which
is
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are
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 vital for their future.
Hence
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,
this
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 happens by
educators
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 providing different team inspiration materials where every student interacts with each other verbally as well as educationally.
Furthermore
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,
teachers
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 allow the
children
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 to understand the social diversity around them,
this
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 especially helps them to respect the social background and values of other
children
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.
Initially
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,
this
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 creates opportunities to include different perspectives, and
children
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 explore and appreciate the differences when
Correct your spelling
they
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the
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they
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 interact with peer groups. To exemplify, coaching
children
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 in a sports event allows them to get along with other peers and communicate with them.
Moreover
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,
teachers
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 intentionally influence youngsters' social life
development
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 module to them for an appropriate range of social skills. To conclude, I completely agree that
teachers
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 have a comprehensive range of abilities and influence the
development
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 of students cognitively and socially because the skills, and the knowledge given by
educators
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 highly affect the
development
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 of juveniles.
Submitted by wathsala.lekamge1997 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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