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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many young people change their jobs or careers every few years. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

More and more people believe that the number of employees who have moved their jobs to developed companies is beneficial.
However
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, others argue that young people will find it difficult. In my opinion, I believe that both views are equally important. First of all, I believe that some organized decline occurs when the region cannot open up opportunities. In fact, many of these individuals hold positions in other corporations.
Although
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 the cost of living has become expensive and inflated, a study published by New York in 2024 concluded that 90
percent
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per cent
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 of those who vacationed with an association declined to move to other developed companies to find jobs, improve their lives, and provide higher education for their children.
As a result
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, working in different regions, incurring many expenses, and earning a high salary can provide job satisfaction and pleasure.
On the other hand
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, other individuals argue that they should integrate their jobs with their societies. What I mean is that every person must serve in his or her own
company
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.
Moreover
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, when dealing with their traditional activity, differences are not found to be different.
For example
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, I have a friend who moved to another agrarian
company
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 and felt stable.
Therefore
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, she is now active in her career because she feels that she belongs in that job. In conclusion, some people believe that they must serve in their own
company
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,
while
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 others disagree, saying that they will pursue another job. I consider that individuals leave their own
company
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due to
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 career demands.
However
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, many still work within many companies' perspectives on
career
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careers
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 and relationships.

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Task Achievement
Make sure your main ideas are clear and directly related to the question. Each paragraph should have one main idea that connects back to the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clear topic sentences to guide readers through your paragraphs. This helps improve the logical flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Add specific examples to support your points. This makes your ideas stronger and shows you understand the topic well.
Content
You present both sides of the argument, which shows good understanding of different perspectives.
Content
Your conclusion summarizes your essay nicely, making it clear what your opinion is.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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