IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Developments in technology are causing environmental problems. Some think the solution is for people to adjust to a simpler life while others believe that technology itself can solve these problems. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

#developments #technology #think #people #life
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The newbie
Correct article usage
Newbie
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 technologies sometimes make issues and bring
into
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apply
show examples
trouble, some people believed that modern
life
 can make the living environment much simpler and easier.
On the other hand
, some of them said problems happen by
technology
 and they can fix those problems by themselves. In my view, using
technology
 in our
life
 is making huge
Correct your spelling
differences
diffrences
Correct your spelling
differences
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 and make our
life
 much better.
First
 of all, if a person
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
technology
 in their home they can
hande
Correct your spelling
handle
 more things at
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 time.
For instance
, if you make your home as a new modern AI, you can wash your clothes or cook for dinner and turn the lights on or off with your mobile phone or as
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 smart home you can just talk to your
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
, like: hey lamp turn on! all of us believed that
as
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is
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 a
really
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real
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Correct your spelling
interesting
intresting
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interesting
 and
also
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weird
wierd
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weird
 thing, but it can make your
life
 better
as
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than
show examples
 before it was. At the
next
 stage, we have to take care
about
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of
show examples
 our environment because
,
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apply
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 in some
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 and parts
technology
 can be very harmful
for
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to
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 the
planets
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planet
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 or even bring climate changes.
For example
,
litter
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a litter
the litter
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 of died
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satellites
sattelites
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satellites
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space are making the space surfaces
more dirty
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dirtier
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as
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than
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 before, and it can reduce pollution and make
a huge and dangerous circumstances
Correct the article-noun agreement
huge and dangerous circumstances
a huge and dangerous circumstance
show examples
 for the earth. To sum up, in my opinion, we have to be part of
these
Correct determiner usage
this
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 cycle and sure, we have to use
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
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 of technologies, but in the right way. Being aware of harmful and
non renewable
Add a hyphen
non-renewable
show examples
 things can be very harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 the future of our environment and our ancestors.
Submitted by nikrou.rouzbeh on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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