People continue to commit crimes even after being punished for it. Why do you think this happens? How can crime be stopped?

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It has always been a problem that
criminals
Use synonyms
go on committing crimes,
although
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they have experienced harsh sentences.
This
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essay will examine the reasons for
this
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problem and provide solutions. The first and most important reason is that successive transgression of laws is led by poverty. If a person has a criminal experience in the curriculum, companies are less likely to employ them.
As a result
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, they are unable to earn money and
tempt
Wrong verb form
are tempted
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to continue accomplishing unethical behaviours.
For example
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, most of the people who pickpocket are poor, unemployed people. The second factor is that often
criminals
Use synonyms
finish their sentence without regretting their actions and never beg for pardon from the victim.
For instance
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,
last
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year a raper in California left the prison with a smile on his face.
This
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means that he may have the intention to repeat the sexual harassment. To prevent consecutive violations, the government should provide help to
criminals
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
have economic issues in order to stop the poverty chain. To illustrate, subsidies to
ex-outlaw
Fix the agreement mistake
ex-outlaws
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and penalties to firms that reject them can be effective. Another solution consists in reinforcing ethical education to
criminals
Use synonyms
so that they can realize the cruelty of their actions and regret them. To give an example, the state should enrol more skilled educators so that they can change the mindset of the prisoners. If the system doesn't work and the criminal doesn't show any resentment the sentence should be postponed. In conclusion, poverty and the lack of ethics are the causes of
this
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problem and measures to solve them should be enforced by the government.
Submitted by leokuwayama03 on

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task achievement
Try to develop a more comprehensive response to the question, including a wider variety of perspectives or solutions. Maybe explore rehabilitation programs or societal contributions to crime recurrence.
task achievement
Aim to enhance your ideas by making them more comprehensive and deeply explored. Providing a bit more elaboration on the points will strengthen the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical progression throughout your essay. Though your ideas are generally well-presented, ensuring they flow smoothly will improve cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a strong introduction and conclusion. Both clearly present your main points.
task achievement
Each main point is well-supported with relevant examples, adding robustness to your argument.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is good, and you've grouped similar ideas in a coherent way.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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