IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Nowaday, more and more people commit crimes. What are causes and solutions?

#nowaday #people #crimes
The graph of wrongdoing has increased drastically. According to a survey which is conducted by UNO, misconducting expedited by 62 per cent in
last
Change the article
the last
show examples
 couple of years.
Illiterate
Replace the word
Illiteracy
show examples
 and unemployment are the prime factors in
such
 cases. It can be depreciated by
below-mentioned
Correct article usage
the below-mentioned
show examples
 notions.
Firstly
, unscholarly is the main reason for all kinds of crimes. A person who is not educated can not differentiate between wrong and right things. It is easy to do the brainwash
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pig head and can be ready for any wrongdoing
work
 without self-analysis.
Education
 institutes and government can play a vital role
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 decline in
this
 graph. They should focus more and more to provide
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
well
Change the adverb
good
show examples
education
 which can make them
gentelman
Correct your spelling
gentleman
gentlemen
 and help to take their own decision.
Education
 can enhance the capability of imagination.
Secondly
, Unemployment is
also
 a prominent reason for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime. Today, well-educated youngsters are not getting
work
 according to their field and they
start
Add the particle
tostart
show examples
 do the wrong
work
. The administration should take a step to taper
this
 issue and provide jobs to graduates.
For instance
, A well-educated person who spent a lot of
education
 and now not getting any
work
. So, he/she will frustrate and will start to do something wrong for earning.
Moreover
, the persons who are sitting in power are
also
 liable for
this
 scenario.Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they are using civilians to execute their enemies and
such
 a person starts to be a criminal.
Correct your spelling
That's
That
Thats
Correct your spelling
That's
show examples
 Why,
Correct your spelling
government
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should take
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
strict action against
such
 leaders. Conclusion,
All
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
first
, we should
analysis
Replace the word
analyse
show examples
 the factor
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
responsible to make a civilian to criminal and take action to mitigate
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Submitted by U S on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: