IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some believe it is important for cities and towns to invest heavily in building large outdoor public spaces. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#believe #cities #towns #spaces
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no doubt that urban cities trend significantly toward development and well-built
infrastructure
Use synonyms
 for inhabitants.
Number
Change the article
A number
The number
show examples
 of
society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
show examples
 reckon that it is magnitude for cities and towns to operate significantly in constructing wide public extent.
although
Linking Words
 urban
designer
Fix the agreement mistake
designers
show examples
plead
Change the verb form
pleads
show examples
 for structure open
Use synonyms
space
Fix the agreement mistake
spaces
show examples
 for
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as public
garden
Fix the agreement mistake
gardens
show examples
 and entertainment facilities, others refute
claim
Correct article usage
the claim
show examples
 asserting that urban
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 demand more essential
infrastructure
Use synonyms
 like
Add an article
a hospital
the hospital
show examples
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
. outdoor public
space
Use synonyms
 may promote considerable structuring important for more than aesthetic reasons.
This
Linking Words
 means if outdoor
space
Use synonyms
 provides
communal
Add an article
a communal
show examples
area
Use synonyms
 for people to connect
each
Change preposition
with each
show examples
 other and allow younger to participate
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 outdoor activities, it will probably support
morale
Add an article
the morale
show examples
 of citizens and
reduction
Replace the word
reduce
show examples
 depression and anxiety.
For example
Linking Words
, a study has been conducted at King Saud university about psychological
health
Use synonyms
 and public outdoor extent
such
Linking Words
 as
park
Add an article
a park
the park
show examples
, they found that outdoor
space
Use synonyms
 help remission downcast and support
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
communication
Replace the word
communicate
show examples
 with each other.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
outdoor
Add an article
the outdoor
show examples
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 might enhance general
health
Use synonyms
 and boost tourism, but
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 might waste more money while urban
infrastructure
Use synonyms
request
Fix the agreement mistake
requests
show examples
 more
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
sophisticated hospital.
However
Linking Words
,
outdoor
Add an article
the outdoor
an outdoor
show examples
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 may squander more money while cities and towns lack
crystal clear
Add a hyphen
crystal-clear
show examples
 more hospital for growth. To clear
this
Linking Words
, if
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
disregard
Correct subject-verb agreement
disregards
show examples
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of
health
Use synonyms
infrastructure
Use synonyms
 and
health
Use synonyms
 care needs, it will probably lack recovery beds deficit.
For instance
Linking Words
, covid19 pandemic
prove
Correct subject-verb agreement
proves
show examples
 that many countries like Indonesia and India
was not have
Change the verb form
did not have
show examples
health
Use synonyms
infrastructure
Use synonyms
 and enough
health
Use synonyms
 care needs for civilians.
Thus
Linking Words
, a lot of residents are passed away consequence of careless essential
health
Use synonyms
infrastructure
Use synonyms
Hence
Linking Words
, it can be said that even though outdoor public
area
Use synonyms
 promotes psychological
health
Use synonyms
 and foster touring,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 waste
budget
Correct article usage
the budget
show examples
 of
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
, it can be said that urban government should allocate
budget
Correct article usage
a budget
show examples
 for
health
Use synonyms
infrastructure
Use synonyms
 and for entertainment facilities.
Submitted by Almukhlifia on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: