In many places today, rapid lifestyle changes are affecting family relationships. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

There is no denying the fact that changes in lifestyle are the key factor influencing people's relationships. One school of thought opines that it is worth it, whilst others consider that a couple of problems
also
occur because of the same.
Although
these changes have adverse ramifications, I firmly believe that
this
could have many benefits
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
downsides. Initiating with the best possible benefits, the most significant advantage is people become independent. To elucidate
further
, they have more knowledge about the world
due to
cutting-edge technology.
This
helps them to explore and find what's better for their lives which in turn makes them more successful.
For instance
, 79.90% of teens move out of their houses in order to pursue their dreams in the USA.
Hence
, they have a
bright
Correct word choice
brighter
show examples
future than those who do not leave their home.
Moreover
, adolescents prefer to move out when they turn 18 so they can have privacy.
This
helps them to learn how to survive on their own.
This
way they experience difficulties and manage themselves. On the paradoxical side, there are many drawbacks as well. First and foremost, these changes in lives impact their relations with others. Since they move out they distance themselves from their loved ones and as they get busy with their lives they do not get time to meet. If they do not get to meet their relatives, they become lonely and become depressed.
For example
, a recent study has found that 3 out of 10 people who leave their homes are mentally stressed in the UK. In conclusion, without any doubt , the pros of a rapidly altering lifestyle outshine its cons.
However
, if
this
topic has many positives, the negative points of
this
notion may not be underestimated.
Submitted by FATYMALIK71 on

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task response
You need to fully address the prompt, making sure to discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of rapid lifestyle changes affecting family relationships. Provide a balanced view with specific examples for each side.
coherence cohesion
Your essay displays a logical structure overall, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas could be more coherent, and there is a need for stronger linkages between the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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