In many places today, rapid lifestyle changes are affecting family relationships. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#places #lifestyle #changes #relationships #trend

There is no denying the fact that changes in lifestyle are the key factor influencing people's relationships. One school of thought opines that it is worth it, whilst others consider that a couple of problems

also

occur because of the same.

Although

these changes have adverse ramifications, I firmly believe that

this

could have many benefits

than

Rephrase

rather than

show examples

downsides. Initiating with the best possible benefits, the most significant advantage is people become independent. To elucidate

further

, they have more knowledge about the world

due to

cutting-edge technology.

This

helps them to explore and find what's better for their lives which in turn makes them more successful.

For instance

, 79.90% of teens move out of their houses in order to pursue their dreams in the USA.

Hence

, they have a

bright

Correct word choice

brighter

show examples

future than those who do not leave their home.

Moreover

, adolescents prefer to move out when they turn 18 so they can have privacy.

This

helps them to learn how to survive on their own.

This

way they experience difficulties and manage themselves. On the paradoxical side, there are many drawbacks as well. First and foremost, these changes in lives impact their relations with others. Since they move out they distance themselves from their loved ones and as they get busy with their lives they do not get time to meet. If they do not get to meet their relatives, they become lonely and become depressed.

For example

, a recent study has found that 3 out of 10 people who leave their homes are mentally stressed in the UK. In conclusion, without any doubt , the pros of a rapidly altering lifestyle outshine its cons.

However

, if

this

topic has many positives, the negative points of

this

notion may not be underestimated.

Submitted by FATYMALIK71 on Sun Dec 04 2022

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task response

You need to fully address the prompt, making sure to discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of rapid lifestyle changes affecting family relationships. Provide a balanced view with specific examples for each side.

coherence cohesion

Your essay displays a logical structure overall, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas could be more coherent, and there is a need for stronger linkages between the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many places today, rapid lifestyle changes are affecting family relationships. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

The plans below show the layout of a university’s sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

comparison between population growth between three countries

Public transit (e.g. buses, local trains, metros/subways) play an important role in helping residents and visitors get around large cities Public transit should be free at all times for those who want to use it. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think that children should start primary school later in life, other that they should start it before 7. Discuss both views and give me your opinion?