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Band 6

Some peop/e think it is no longer necessary /'or children fo go fo school because ffiey can do all their learning on//ne. Others gei/ev’e learning in schools is essential. Discuss both views and give yot/r opinion.

#peop #e #children #fo #school #ffiey #gei #ev’e #schools #yot #r
The application of technology in
education
 is a great success in today's society.
This
 has led some to think that it is not necessary to send their
children
 to
school
.
However
, there are still some people who believe that going to
school
 is very important.
This
 essay will explore and examine both of these perspectives and explain why I think
children
 should go to
school
 to improve their social skills. From the
first
 perspective, online learning helps
children
 relax and reduce stress. Obviously, when kids aren't in
school
, they can sleep more, eat breakfast at home and start classes in the comfort of their own room.
Also
, they don't need to wear formal clothes or uniforms that make them more comfortable.
Besides
,
parents
 will
also
 feel more secure when they do not have to drag their
children
 out of bed and worry about traffic around
school
 or being late for work.
Therefore
, virtual learning helps
parents
 and
children
 reduce daily stress.
However
, I think young people have to go to
school
 to be supervised by a teacher. If
children
 are left alone with their devices, who can guarantee that they will log into their classroom
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 There are plenty of other fun activities that can distract kids online and prevent them from participating in their virtual classroom.
For example
, popular platforms like Instagram, Facebook, Tik Tok,
Youtube
Correct word choice
and Youtube
show examples
 can be more entertaining and distracting for a child without
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
supervised online
education
. In my opinion,
children
 should be present at
school
 to build life skills by interacting with each other and with adults.
This
 is a very important skill that can only be learned in the midst of others. When kids are at home all day in front of screens, they are unable to communicate and enjoy each other's presence.
In addition
, non-physical contact is one of the most important causes of depression and isolation that can be prevented by face-to-face contact at
school
. In summary, there are two opposing views on
children
's
education
. Some people argue that
parents
 should stop sending their
children
 to
school
 because it is easy and comfortable for both
parents
 and
children
. I, along with other groups, believe that
children
 need direct, supervised
education
 to ensure quality learning and build social skills for a healthy mind.
Submitted by hoang.b.lam88 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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