Today, more and more students are deciding to move to another country for their studies. "Do you think" the benefits of this outweighs the disadvantages?

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In the contemporary world, education has been opened widely, numerous countries provide various privileges to attract
students
from around the world.
As a result
, a huge amount of pupils are interested and deciding to study overseas. As far as I am concerned, there will be a vast of benefits for them not only in their education but
also
in their future opportunities.
To begin
with, nowadays, many countries are promoting their universities and privileges to encourage
students
from around the world to study in their countries.
For instance
, universities in the United Kingdom provide a lot of scholarships and job opportunities for
students
who prefer to move to the United Kingdom.
Moreover
, some nations give special visas to scholars who
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
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in colleges in their nations
such
as China
comes
Wrong verb form
has come
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up with regulations for foreign
students
that extend the visas up to 5 years and add on 2 years for a job.
Furthermore
, the benefits of studying abroad are countless,
for example
, exposure the new cultures and perspectives enhances personal growth and global understanding and develops important life skills.
In addition
, international education provides better resources, teaching methodologies, and research opportunities.
However
, there are some disadvantages to studying from home.
Firstly
, the financial burden that may lead to high levels of debt for parents.
Secondly
,
students
might face challenges with cultural adjustments, homesickness, and language barriers. In conclusion, it is undeniable that there are some drawbacks but I stand still at the benefits side are more enormous to improve yourself and crystal clear future.
Submitted by pumin.t on

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coherence cohesion
While your essay provides a basic logical structure, it could benefit from improved transitions between ideas and better paragraphing to enhance readability. Work on linking sentences to ensure the flow from one idea to the next is smooth and coherent.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present, yet they lack a clear thesis statement in the introduction and a summarizing of main points in the conclusion. Both parts need to be more impactful to effectively frame your argument.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported to some extent, but supporting details need to be more developed. Provide concrete examples that directly support your argument to reinforce your main points.
task achievement
You've addressed the question to a satisfactory degree. However, a more thorough exploration of the disadvantages, balancing them with the advantages, would present a more complete response.
task achievement
The ideas presented are somewhat clear, but need to be further expanded and explained for full comprehensibility. More detail and clarification would enrich the content of your essay.
task achievement
Relevant examples are included but they remain general. Be more specific in your examples, by providing real-life scenarios or case studies to illustrate points better.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Global citizenship
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Cutting-edge facilities
  • Networking opportunities
  • Career advancement
  • Financial constraints
  • Acclimatization challenges
  • Support network
  • Educational disparity
  • Reverse culture shock
  • Bilingualism
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