IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every yong person how to be a good parent Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent

#people #idea #schools #yong #person #parent #skills
It is argued by some that big companies should
to
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apply
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move to rural
areas
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
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 they must do, there is a number of advantages
then
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than
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 disadvantages.
This
 essay will analyse both points of view while giving reasons for my opinion.
To begin
 with, one of the significant
advantage
Change to a plural noun
advantages
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 of moving into rural
areas
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is
a
Correct article usage
the
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 cheap rent of space. It is considered that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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office renting in
cities
 is more expensive than in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
. Companies could save
money
 for
this
 item of expenditure.
For example
, a recent article, published by BBC journal revealed that the cost of
place
Add an article
a place
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 in remote
areas
 is twice lower
than
Change preposition
as
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cities
.
Furthermore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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localisation in rural
areas
 could help in
ecological
Correct article usage
the ecological
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 aspect. If big industries moved their business far from the
cities
, it would reduce the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of harmful emissions in crowded territories.
For instance
, some of the factories of huge production are located in the
cities
, which is affect
on
Change preposition
apply
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an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 ecological side of the territory where is located and leads to the deterioration of the quality of life of the people living there.
However
, there is a
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
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,
such
 as wasting time on a way to work which can
leads
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lead
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 to spending more
money
 on fuel. Many workers live in the
cities
, and if factories moved to rural
areas
, people would
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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spend much more time and
as a result
, more
money
 to reach an office.
For example
,
last
 time the price
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
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fuel
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased significantly, and many people spend a lot of
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 gasoline nowadays. To conclude, there are advantages of moving companies
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 county side,
such
 as solving
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some ecological problems in urban
areas
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and lower rental costs, but there is a
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
such
 as more spending
money
 for fuel
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 workers
Submitted by dulskywork on

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