IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every yong person how to be a good parent Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent

#people #idea #schools #yong #person #parent #skills
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It is argued by some that big companies should
to
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apply
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move to rural
areas
Use synonyms
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
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 they must do, there is a number of advantages
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then
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than
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 disadvantages.
This
Linking Words
 essay will analyse both points of view while giving reasons for my opinion.
To begin
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 with, one of the significant
advantage
Change to a plural noun
advantages
show examples
 of moving into rural
areas
Use synonyms
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 cheap rent of space. It is considered that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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office renting in
cities
Use synonyms
 is more expensive than in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
. Companies could save
money
Use synonyms
 for
this
Linking Words
 item of expenditure.
For example
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, a recent article, published by BBC journal revealed that the cost of
place
Add an article
a place
show examples
 in remote
areas
Use synonyms
 is twice lower
than
Change preposition
as
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
localisation in rural
areas
Use synonyms
 could help in
ecological
Correct article usage
the ecological
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 aspect. If big industries moved their business far from the
cities
Use synonyms
, it would reduce the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of harmful emissions in crowded territories.
For instance
Linking Words
, some of the factories of huge production are located in the
cities
Use synonyms
, which is affect
on
Change preposition
apply
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an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 ecological side of the territory where is located and leads to the deterioration of the quality of life of the people living there.
However
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, there is a
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
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,
such
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 as wasting time on a way to work which can
leads
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lead
show examples
 to spending more
money
Use synonyms
 on fuel. Many workers live in the
cities
Use synonyms
, and if factories moved to rural
areas
Use synonyms
, people would
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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spend much more time and
as a result
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, more
money
Use synonyms
 to reach an office.
For example
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,
last
Linking Words
 time the price
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
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fuel
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased significantly, and many people spend a lot of
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 gasoline nowadays. To conclude, there are advantages of moving companies
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 county side,
such
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 as solving
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some ecological problems in urban
areas
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and lower rental costs, but there is a
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as more spending
money
Use synonyms
 for fuel
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 workers
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