The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut subjects such as arts and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on subject such as information technology. To what extent do you agree?

Education plays a major role in preparing

children

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for the modernised world. Schools should remove courses like

arts

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and music from the curriculum in order to enable them to focus on other subjects

such

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as IT.

This

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essay disagrees with

this

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statement because the creative

arts

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are an equally important aspect of life which would allow them to express themselves freely and be well knowledgeable about their culture and traditions.

Arts

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and Music subjects should still be included in school's curriculum because, right from an early age,

children

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need to be taught different forms of

arts

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and crafts like painting, drawing, writing, lego building, and sculpturing amongst others in order to express themselves freely.

Furthermore

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, It is necessary for them to develop these skills as they grow, as

this

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will

also

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enable them to think critically in order to solve problems. These subjects

also

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serve as hobbies which can help them have fun and relax after a tiring day.

On the contrary

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, if they are removed from the curriculum,

this

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can negatively affect their moods and cognitive development.

For example

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, in the United Kingdom, creative

arts

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and crafts have been added to curriculums in schools and

this

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has improved the learning system in the country.

In addition

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, it is of great importance that students are deeply rooted in their customs and traditions. As they are taught

this

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in schools, they learn about their history and different ways of life and cherish it.

Moreover

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this

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allows for a well-balanced society, as the creative sector is as equally notable as science and technology.

Consequently

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, if they are not taught

this

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they begin to embrace other people's culture which devalues their original cultural identity.

For instance

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, in Nigeria,

children

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are educated about past heroes, national actors and actresses and the positive impacts they have contributed to society. In conclusion,

arts

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and music should still be included in the education system so as to provide an avenue for

children

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to experience the creative side of life which would enable them to have a creative mindset and allow them to value and take pride in their culture.

kikiWed May 07 2025

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task achievement

Consider enhancing the introduction by explicitly stating your position more clearly right after the background information.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to use varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and ideas throughout the essay.

task achievement

Ensure that all main points are fully developed with sufficient detail to enhance clarity and understanding, particularly in the second paragraph.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear opinion and logically addresses the prompt, providing reasons for supporting the inclusion of arts and music.

task achievement

You used relevant examples from real-life situations, adding credibility to your points, particularly in the context of the UK and Nigeria.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

352 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

employability
curriculum
creativity
innovation
digital literacy
problem-solving
extracurricular activities
cultural appreciation
financial literacy
well-rounded individuals
modern economy
independent living

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The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut subjects such as arts and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on subject such as information technology. To what extent do you agree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

“Do you think extra-curricular activities are important in a student’s life?” Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think it is more important for a government to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Improving living conditions within society is a far superior approach to crime prevention than the treat of punishment. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement and why?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?