Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Many younglings spend

hours

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each day on their mobile

phones

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. The main reason behind

this

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case is the addictive nature of smartphone

applications

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. I believe that

this

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is a huge negative development for

children

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because they become unsocial individuals which may affect their happiness.

To begin

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with, the primary cause of

children

Use synonyms

spending

hours

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every day on their

phones

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is the addictive native of the

applications

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Change preposition

show examples

these

phones

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. These

applications

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aim to make money through advertisements and they need users to make these advertisements visible.

Thus

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, they develop these

applications

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in a way that makes them addictive in order to make money.

Children

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are more likely to be attracted because of their natural curiosity.

For example

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, the Chinese government has banned application developers from creating

applications

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in an addictive manner in order to prevent

children

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from becoming addicted to their

phones

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Furthermore

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, I believe that it is a negative development because it makes

children

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unsocial.

Children

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need to socialize with their friends rather than looking a blue screen all day in order to have healthy relationships with humans.

This

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is because they gain experience by socializing and learn how to make bonds with people which makes them happy in life.

According to

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recent research that has been done at Harvard University, the

children

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who spend

hours

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on the phone become more unhappy, than the younglings who spend these

hours

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socializing. Briefly, it is crystal clear that it is very harmful to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

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because it makes them non-social.

To conclude

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, the primary reason

children

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spend too much time on mobile

phones

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is related to the addictive nature of the

applications

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and I am of the opinion

that is

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it a huge negative development because causing

children

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to become unsocial.

edzclsFri Jan 19 2024

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task achievement

Develop your ideas more fully by adding another example or a counter-argument to provide balance.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to link your ideas more clearly.

coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the supporting sentences are directly related to it.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

Some employees want to be able to contact their staff at all times, even on holidays. Does this development have more advantages than disadvantages?

Some businesses find that new employees who just finished their education lack basic interpersonal abilities such as working with other employees as a team. what do you think are the causes and what solutions can you suggest?

Nowadays many students live with their families while others go to another city to study at a university. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both scenarios. Include relevant examples in your answer.