IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

Some people think that to produce a happier society we must ensure that there is only a small difference in earnings between rich and poor. To what extend do you agree?

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Nowadays it is evident that the community is divided into two parts: enriched people and impoverished individuals.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 is because it depends on the varied incomes and budgets of folks who have diverse financial levels. Whereas some think that it is critical to have the same wages for all human beings
however
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 others have totally opposite minds about it. I totally agree that the population should have the same salaries with slight differences between each other.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 essay will outline reasons and examples for that.
To begin
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 with, it is vital that everyone earns the same amount of money since there will be no comparison, completion, or jealousy.
This
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 is because all humans can afford the same stuff as everybody.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, having earned the same budget all people can purchase similar cars, and visit identical places for travelling, so there will be no huge gap in people's life levels.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, competition and jealousy will be prevented by installing universal wage standards for all populations.
Next
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, having minor differences in salaries causes less stress for the crowd. The reason is that someone has overloading work in order to increase the salary of his or her employees.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in order to impress their supervisors' employees often are overwhelmed with their job duties and responsibilities, so they can get a promotion and get their incomes to be enlarged.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if all staff at work has earned at the same level, everyone will work at the same level without anxiety and stress. To conclude, in present days it is crucial to
earn
Change the verb form
earning

The verb earn may be in the wrong form after the preposition to. Consider changing it to the gerund form.

show examples
 more to meet life demands and needs. Some public has higher salaries compared to others.
Consequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 brings arguments among society about introducing the same wages for everyone. I agree to a high extent that providing similar wages to anybody will reduce stress and anxiety and avoid jealousy, and competition. If the community is free from mentioned above they will live in a piece.

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