IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some people think that having these people give a talk to school students is the best way to tell them about the dangers of committing a crime. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some
criminals
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 became good citizens after being released back into society.
Although
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 some people believe that having these people give a talk is the best way to inform school
students
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 about the
dangers
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 of embarking on a
crime
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, I would argue that there are some better
ways
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 to achieve that aim. There are a few reasons why having a meeting with people who committed a
crime
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 with school
students
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 is a
favorable
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favourable
show examples
 way to help
pupils
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 understand the
dangers
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 of committing a
crime
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. One reason is that
this
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 kind of person will have a realistic view of the crimes since they embarked on a real
crime
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 before, which gives them a genuine experience.
As a result
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, their
information
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 is reliable, which will make a huge impact on
students
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. Another reason is that some former prisoners can provide detailed
information
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 about the
dangers
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 which exist in a
crime
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.
This
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 is because there are many secrets beyond a
crime
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 that are known by only former
criminals
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.
However
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, some other
ways
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 are more effective in giving
information
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 to
pupils
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 about the threats of starting a
crime
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. One effective way is reading the
information
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 in an online newspaper as it provides huge data about crimes around the world.
For example
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, Vnexpress is the biggest online paper in Vietnam which provide many posts written about the
dangers
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 of embarking on a
crime
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 and the punishment of
criminals
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.
Furthermore
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, school
students
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 can read some books about the
dangers
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 of
crime
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 written by many experts in the world. If
pupils
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 can read some books by experts relating to
this
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 subject, they will have a brief review with reliable data, which delivers
information
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 effectively to them. In conclusion,
students
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 can talk with former
criminals
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 to know about the threats of starting a
crime
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, but there are some other
ways
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 to provide better
information
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 about
this
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 topic. It is recommended that
pupils
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 should try many
ways
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 to have correct
information
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 about the topic.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • reformed individuals
  • real-life examples
  • consequences of crime
  • instill fear
  • make better life choices
  • educational programs
  • rehabilitation process
  • relatable role models
  • backgrounds
  • redemption
  • glorifying
  • send the wrong message
  • educators
  • law enforcement
What to do next:
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