People's live are now surrounded by advertisement. This affects what people consider important and has a negative impact on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays our lives are characterised by intense
advertisements
. These publicities can have a negative influence on
people
's choices and
therefore
their lives. I totally agree with the statement above because
this
ad system is compromising our choices and priorities.
Firstly
,
advertisements
are omnipresent in the everyday life of an individual,
this
is causing a lot of changes in contemporary society.
This
community, in fact, is somehow addicted to these publicities because
companies
use
intensively
Rephrase
apply
show examples
these tools to spread their power as far as possible. Dress
companies
and industries,
for example
, spend much money on
advertisements
to have cartels and pictures of their brand all over the cities.
As a result
, many
people
, especially juveniles, are unconsciously influenced by these cartels which guide them to buy new clothes that follow the trend of the moment without respecting their principles and their priorities.
Secondly
, brands, whether they are famous or not, use
advertisements
too much. They are everywhere, and since the Internet discovery, most part of the job has been done by the Web. Through websites, social media, and other platforms
such
as
youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
,
companies
continue to bomb users with intensive and compulsive campaigns of advertisement. By doing
this
, some
people
, those who do not skip the ad, are influenced by every product they see on the internet and are willing to purchase it. Even though that product would be useless,
people
will buy it just because of the huge impact that publicities have on our minds and choices.
To conclude
,
although
publicity is the engine of any business, and
companies
need to share their products to increase their value, I believe that there can be better ways to sell without having a negative influence on
people
's lives.
Submitted by edoardo.rivoli99 on

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task response
Your essay addresses the prompt and expresses a clear opinion, but some points lack clarity and depth of analysis. Make sure to fully develop your arguments and provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a logical structure overall, but there are some areas where the development of ideas could be improved. Make sure to use clear transitions between ideas and fully develop each paragraph to enhance coherence and cohesion.
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