People now are not as fit as they were in the past What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

At present, a lot of people are less fit than before.
While
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this
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can be attributed to doing many activities by modern machines
instead
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of human beings and improvement leads to unhealthy eating, the situation can be changed for the better by promoting harmless sustenance.
While
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there are a lot of different reasons, the main one is the advancement of modern technology. Nowadays many work and household chores are done by new automatic machines
such
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as vacuum cleaners and washing machines
instead
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of humans.
As a result
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,
this
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causes people to be less active.
Moreover
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, the advertisement of fast foods and beverages on social media or on street banners encourages people to consume detrimental foods.
This
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has a negative impact on the health of humans, as unhealthy eating can cause illnesses like obesity.
Therefore
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, these reasons affect people’s health negatively. Solving
this
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problem requires a combination of individual and marketing efforts. One of the best ways is promoting more natural, nutritional and wholesome foods than harmful ones on TV or on billboards. If famous celebrities advertise them, it will be efficient. Because celebrities are admired and believed by their fans.
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, advertising alternatives through the Internet and social platforms might be beneficial, as many individuals use their mobile devices daily.
Thus
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, we can solve
this
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issue with a collaboration of personal efforts and companies’ help. In conclusion,
although
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many different factors contribute to the becoming less fit crowd than they were in the past,
this
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issue can be mitigated by promoting wholesome eats and avoiding to overuse of state-of-the-art technologies as much as possible.

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task achievement
Further develop your ideas to provide clearer and more comprehensive responses to the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that all points are logically connected to improve the flow and coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your main points for better task achievement.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the issue and presents a thesis statement outlining the main points you will address.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for different ideas, making it easy to follow your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • transnational problems
  • climate change
  • ozone layer depletion
  • pollution
  • collaborative efforts
  • pooling of resources
  • expertise
  • technology
  • innovative solutions
  • international standards
  • race to the bottom
  • environmental standards
  • capacity
  • impacts
  • national sovereignty
  • independently
  • economic
  • social contexts
  • international consensus
  • legal
  • political systems
  • enforcement
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