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Band 4.5

Today, more and more people use robots to do tasks at home and at work. Do you think it is a positive or negative? Why?

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Introduction
In several
nation
Change to a plural noun
nations
show examples
 of
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
the world,
humans
Use synonyms
 prefer to
wearing
Wrong verb form
wear
show examples
 more
Correct your spelling
western
westren-mode
Correct your spelling
western-mode
clothes
Use synonyms
 like
dress
Fix the agreement mistake
dresses
show examples
 and
jeans
Use synonyms
 than their folk
clothes
Use synonyms
. From my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
 it may be
Correct your spelling
detrimental
deterimental
Correct your spelling
detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
humans
Change the noun form
human
show examples
 health which is
wear
Wrong verb form
wearing
show examples
 a lot of
European
Use synonyms
clothes
Use synonyms
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
jeans
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
essay
easy
Correct your spelling
essay
eassy
Add a comma
,eassy
show examples
 I will examine both
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
 and positive of
this
Linking Words
 can controversial issue.
Body paragraph 1
There are a lot of significant benefits
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 wearing
jeans
Use synonyms
clothes
Use synonyms
. Many individuals emphasize that
this
Linking Words
 type of
clothes
Use synonyms
 is very comfortable to wear for
people
Use synonyms
 because when they wear
European
Use synonyms
clothes
Use synonyms
 they
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
 themselves very silent.
Also
Linking Words
,
European
Use synonyms
clothes
Use synonyms
 are always
Correct article usage
a trend
show examples
trend
Wrong verb form
trending
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
 majorities
Use synonyms
humans
Change preposition
of humans
show examples
 wear
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
clothes
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
Turing
Correct your spelling
Turning
show examples
 to the other side of the argument despite it
is benefits
Change the verb form
is benefiting
show examples
 it
also
Linking Words
 that it
is disadvantages
Change the verb form
is disadvantaged
show examples
.
First
Linking Words
 of all,
another countries
Fix the agreement mistake
other country
show examples
clothes
Use synonyms
 may
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
damage their cultural
clothes
Use synonyms
 because
people
Use synonyms
 wear tend
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
clothes
Use synonyms
. If
humans
Use synonyms
 wear more
European
Use synonyms
clothes
Use synonyms
, they may
be forget
Change the verb form
forget
show examples
 their traditional
clothes
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, currently according to statistics of
this
Linking Words
 year many
humans
Use synonyms
 prefer to
wearing
Wrong verb form
wear
show examples
 modern
Correct your spelling
western
westren-
Correct your spelling
western-style
steyle
Correct your spelling
style
clothes
Use synonyms
as a result
Linking Words
 they are
damage
Wrong verb form
damaging
show examples
 their history.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
mode
Correct article usage
the mode
show examples
 of western
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
clothes
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's health especially
Correct your spelling
adolescent
adolesent
Correct your spelling
adolescents
  because
this
Linking Words
 type of
clothes
Use synonyms
 is very narrow.
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
jeans
Use synonyms
 material will solid
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 other materials.
For instance
Linking Words
, these days more
Correct your spelling
adolescent
adolesent
Correct your spelling
adolescents
 wear
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
another
nations
Replace the word
national
show examples
 style
as a result
Linking Words
 their figure are harming.
Conclusion
In
final
Add an article
the final
show examples
 analysis, despite the fact that they are wearing modern-style it is very harmful to young
people
Use synonyms
. So in my opinion, all
humans
Use synonyms
 should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
wear their nation's
clothes
Use synonyms
.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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