IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT IT IS BETTER TO EDUCATE BOYS AND GIRLS IN SEPARATE SCHOOLS. OTHERS, HOWEVER, BELIEVE THAT BOYS AND GIRLS BENEFIT MORE FROM ATTENDING MIX SCHOOLS. DISCUSS BOTH THESE VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

#people #boys #girls #schools #benefit #mix
Owing to fascinating developments in the field of education, nowadays students can easily learn anything from anywhere.
However
, in
this
 modern era,
boys
 and
girls
 must have to attend
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mixed school rather than separate
schools
, because boarding
schools
 are bad for both these genders in
terms
 of communication, learning and sharing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
feedback about the developing world. In
this
 contemporary era, students are an integral part of every nation.
Also
, technology is developed and updated, so both
this
 gender learns so many things from the use of different applications and
software’s
Change the noun form
softwares
software
show examples
. If
boys
 and
girls
 study in a mixed school
then
 it will be beneficial for both these genders in
terms
 of personal growth and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better conversation improves their point of view to see the world.
Also
, private
schools
 are better as compared to separate
schools
, because in
boys
’
schools
,
boys
 fight for their belongings even in some cases they do not learn properly as compared to mixed
schools
.
On the other hand
, mixed
schools
 have their drawbacks
also
.
Firstly
, in
terms
 of homework,
this
 kind of school punished
girls
 as well as
boys
.
Secondly
, some rules are very strict in
terms
 of assignments and
submissions
Change the noun form
submission
show examples
 deadlines.
Thirdly
, some teachers support the girl factor in these
schools
, while in boarding
schools
 teachers have mutual support and understanding the same
to
Change preposition
as
show examples
 the
boys
. In a nutshell, I personally believe that education is a crucial part
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 each and every student’s life.
However
, it is not important where
boys
 or
girls
 want to study, but the important thing is they have to study and gain knowledge for personal and financial growth.
Submitted by rahulgpatel19 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: