IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some feel that the effects of advertising are positive for individuals and business. While others think , they are negative. Discuss both of views and give your own opinion.

#feel #effects #individuals #business
There are different opinions about that advertising has always controversial topic. While some argue that the impact of advertising is positive for individuals and
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 claim that it has a negative effect. On my part, I, believe that advertising helps people and
business
 success
us
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. To commence with the view on the former group, there are two
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 behind their position.
First
 is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 advertising is part of
business
Add an article
the business
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. Every person needs advertising because they have to make the product available to the public.
Besides
, it brings profit by it.
In addition
, it saves us wasted time. we do not need to go to buy products. We can easily
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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order by internet.
For example
, recently, I bought a new dress
Correct your spelling
through
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thought
Correct your spelling
through
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online
Correct article usage
an online
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 store. I really liked it.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
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 my friends too and ordered it. Definitely, other arguments exist too, but the ones mentioned, I believe, do stand out. Turning to the letter group's point of view, they
also
 ,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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hold,
first
 all of. It may
brings
Change the verb form
bring
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 beneficial for
business
.
However
, not all advertising is trustworthy. We should bring
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 item which we
competent
Add a missing verb
are competent
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so
Change preposition
in so
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 that we do not waste our money.
For instance
, I saw an advertisement that a new store was opened at the beginning of
street
Add an article
the street
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. I bought some
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
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there it was not
a
Correct your spelling
as
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 good
what
Correct word choice
as
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 I expected.
In addition
, it was
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
rotten. I wasted my money. It ability of other arguments is undeniable but mentioning them is not worthy. In conclusion, I believe both sides of
Correct article usage
the arguments
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arguments
Fix the agreement mistake
argument
show examples
 are valid. I still strongly support the view that it benefits individuals and businesses in many ways
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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