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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that teachers should be responsible for teaching students to judge what is right and wrong so that they can behave well. Others say that teachers should only teach students academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There is no disputing the fact that schoolteachers keep playing crucial roles in children's development. Some people argue that teachers' main responsibility is to impart academic knowledge to students
while
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 others hold the view that they should teach pupils to behave properly. My opinion is a mixture of both.  On the one hand, it is undoubtedly true that instructors need to teach children how to know about academic subjects
such
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 as Maths, Science, and History to help them to fit into
this
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 knowledge-based society. Graduates from educational institutions are facing pressure from the fierce and competitive labour markets; thereby, what they need to do is
to
Verb problem
apply
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acquire more knowledge to secure a job position. It is no exaggeration to say that it is teachers
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 help pupils to survive in
this
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 harsh reality by teaching relevant academic information to them.
On the other hand
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, moral lessons are
also
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 integral to be taught by schoolers. There is a consensus on the viewpoint that being a good-hearted man is more important than being a clever one.
In other words
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, men who behave properly are more highly appreciated than those who do not even if they have a good head.
As a result
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, teaching students to know what is right and wrong is a fundamental prerequisite for students' survival in their real lives later.
In addition
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, the importance of educators in teaching pupils how to behave well has increased progressively in
these
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apply
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recent years as more companies recruit employees not solely based on academic records, but on soft skills
such
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 as judgement skills or critical thinking. In conclusion, I would contend that teachers have basic and inseparable missions, namely teaching moral lessons and knowledge, and these two are equally important. A healthy social organism would be perhaps a result of
this
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 perfect blend

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task achievement
Your essay presents both views effectively, but including more specific examples could strengthen your arguments. For instance, referencing actual programs or strategies teachers use to instill moral values would enhance your response.
coherence and cohesion
While your ideas are logically sequenced, consider adding clearer transitions to enhance the flow between paragraphs. This can make your argumentation even more cohesive.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, reiterating the importance of both education and moral instruction succinctly could clarify your stance while allowing for a stronger closing statement.
positive
Your introduction clearly sets out the topic and your mixed opinion, which is a good way to engage the reader.
positive
You effectively highlight the relevance of academic and moral education in today's job market, demonstrating awareness of contemporary issues.
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