IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

More and more people want to buy clothes, cars and other products from well-known brands. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#people #clothes #cars #products #brands #development
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In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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recent modern society, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who are attracted to famous
brands
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 has been increasing and
this
Linking Words
 trend spreads across various
merchandises
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merchandise
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 including clothes and automobiles.
Such
Linking Words
 global
brands
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 like Louis Vuitton and Gucci can sell their products with high premiums whereas other
less known
Add a hyphen
less-known
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makers
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 are forced to lower prices to penetrate among consumers. I believe
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon has many drawbacks
such
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 as creating
social
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a social
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 divide between the wealthy and the poor. The
first
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 demerit of too much popularity of
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
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brands
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 is its negative
impact
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to
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on
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less known
Add a hyphen
less-known
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 product
makers
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. It is true that high
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brand
Fix the agreement mistake
brands
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 tend to have
high
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high-quality
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quality
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 materials with unique designs,
Linking Words
however
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,however
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 often times other less unknown
makers
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' merchandises have similar or equal
quality
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 as those of high-end
brands
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. Regardless, while those
brand
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 bags and dresses sell at
astonishing
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astonishingly
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 high prices, good
quality
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 unknown
brands
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 should lower their prices to survive.
For example
Linking Words
, in
centre
Correct article usage
the centre
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 of Tokyo, many foreign visitors, mainly from China and other Asian countries are often lining up to purchase Prada wallets, Vuitton bags, and Gucci coats but they have no interest in traditional
high
Add a hyphen
high-quality
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quality
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 Japanese
makers
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. As
such
Linking Words
, attaching too much importance to well-known
brands
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 will have
negative
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a negative
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impact
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to
Change preposition
on
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 national
makers
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. The
second
Linking Words
 negative
impact
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 is its creation of
social
Correct article usage
a social
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 divide, namely
the
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between the
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 rich and the less wealthy.
Brand
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 goods became so expensive
so
Correct word choice
apply
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that only a few groups of very wealthy
people
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 can afford them and the products are becoming
as
Change preposition
apply
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their badge to show that they are rich. It is strange to see many wealthy
people
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 wearing Italian and French astonishingly expensive shirts and pants,
driving
Correct word choice
and driving
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 Italian
car
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cars
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 even
they
Correct word choice
if they
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 are living in Japan.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many young
people
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 cannot buy those high-end products and
wearing
Wrong verb form
wear
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uniqlo
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Uniqlo
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 t-shirts, walking streets filled with Chinese
people
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 making queues in front of the
brand
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 shops. As a consequence, too much focus on
brands
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 may create social confrontations. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 a good
brand
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tend
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tends
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 to be a promise
for
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of
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 good
quality
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 and security, putting too much importance
to
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on
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 it may have
negative
Add an article
a negative
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impact
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
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 less known good
quality
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 national
makers
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, there is a risk that it may cause social divide
Correct your spelling
between
betweent
Correct your spelling
between
 groups with different financial conditions.
Submitted by michima2011 on

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