Some people spend large amounts of money to buy tickets for sports or cultural events. Is this a positive or negative development?
Some individuals pay huge amounts of money buying tickets for sports or cultural events. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
this
has various positive aspectsLinking Words
,
because Remove the comma
apply
trough
attending Correct your spelling
through
sport
venues adults, adolescents and children reunite and network with each other. While cultural events like entering a museum can expand the Fix the agreement mistake
sports
humans
mind.
Change the noun form
human
First
and foremost paying for and attending Linking Words
sport
events like the WM or the Olympics help people to connect and network with each other. Change the noun form
sports
This
is Linking Words
great
opportunity in a time where too many sit at home in front of their laptops or cell phones not socialising at all. Sporting shows like the WM make females and males come together. Add an article
a great
For example
to celebrate and promote their national football team. Linking Words
Furthermore
attending a museum will give visitors multiple impressions and valuable Linking Words
information’s
. Change noun form
information
For
Linking Words
instance
they learn about Leonardo Da Vinci´s Add a comma
,instance
Art works
and expressions Correct your spelling
Artworks
such
as Mona Lisa. These experiences are way more valuable in my opinion Linking Words
Linking Words
then
the high prices which often have to be played.
Correct your spelling
than
Linking Words
Secondly
many sporting organisations donate their revenues for a good purpose. Add a comma
,Secondly
That is
the main reason why tickets are often very pricey. Linking Words
Linking Words
However
these organisations donate their earrings to countries which have Add a comma
,However
for instance
a high rate of poverty and famine. Linking Words
Linking Words
Consequently
Add a comma
,Consequently
this
helps to evolve and strengthen Linking Words
states
economy, health and social systems. A good illustration Change noun form
states'
state's
for
Change preposition
of
that is
the WM which gave 70 Linking Words
percent
of Change the spelling
per cent
their
revenues to children in Africa and to the government to build new schools and hospitals.
In conclusion spending dollars or euros for art or football tickets is not only beneficial because it serves people to network or Correct pronoun usage
its
gather
new knowledge, but Change the verb form
gathers
also
because many Linking Words
sport
organisations use their turnover rates for good purposes.Change the noun form
sports
Submitted by luisapressl01 on
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