IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #cultures #technology
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It is true that
fast
Correct article usage
the fast
show examples
 growth of
technology
Use synonyms
 has changed our life so much. Naturally, as
technology
Use synonyms
 develops, some of our traditions
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been lost or changed. For
this
Linking Words
 reason, sometimes it is considered that
technology
Use synonyms
 destroys our
cultures
Use synonyms
. But I do not agree with
this
Linking Words
 point of view because it is up to people how to keep traditions
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
our
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 lives. I would like to explain more specifically in
this
Linking Words
 essay. Clearly, Some people insist that
technology
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 improves life in a good
way
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, but it makes our customs weaker.
For instance
Linking Words
, since vehicles are invented, the
way
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 we travel has changed. Or, as cooking
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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 are upgraded our eating culture has changed as well. Simply, these changes destroyed the old
way
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 of living that our ancestors' were maintaining.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is believed that travelling to
another countries
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
show examples
 becomes more common as
technology
Use synonyms
 develops, while
characteristics
Correct article usage
the characteristics
show examples
 of each
Use synonyms
cultures
Change to a singular noun
culture
show examples
 get weaker from
this
Linking Words
. Indeed, I believe
technology
Use synonyms
 can flourish
cultures
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 and customs. One clear example is, thanks to the development of
technology
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, people from all over the world can watch BTS
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 Youtube. When BTS released their MV filmed with
Korean
Correct article usage
a Korean
show examples
 traditional outfit, it went viral and gained very high views and likes. There are so many cases that
technology
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 helped culture to be popular. In conclusion, it is our role to keep and protect traditions and
cultures
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 while using
technology
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. I would like to encourage everyone to enhance what we have,
instead
Linking Words
 of losing it with a sceptical point of view.
From
Change preposition
In
show examples
this
Linking Words
way
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, traditional
cultures
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 will remain with us and become our pride.
Submitted by kwoneunji225 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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