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Band 5

TODAY, MORE PEOPLE ARE WAITING UNTIL THEIR THIRTIES TO GET MARRIED AND HAVE CHILDREN. DO YOU THINK THIS IS A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT?

#people #thirties #children #development
In
this
 modern era,
enjoy
Wrong verb form
enjoying
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 happy
marriage
Replace the word
married
show examples
 life is
dream
Add an article
the dream
a dream
show examples
 of every person. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
this
, some
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
 believe that
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 of thirty is good for a person to settle down for better life as well as enjoy the
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 time before getting old. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
 of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
 and give my opinion in
conclusion
Add an article
the conclusion
a conclusion
show examples
 paragraph. The time of
21st century
Add a hyphen
21st-century
show examples
adults
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 their each and every
decision
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 own.
Firstly
,
marriage
 is pure and holy
relation
Replace the word
relationship
show examples
 for all young
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
.
Secondly
, after some
age
Add a comma
,age
show examples
adults
 have to engage with someone whom they love the most.
Thirdly
, getting married
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 of thirty is a good
decision
 by
adults
, because after 30
adults
 have to take responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
entire
Correct article usage
the entire
show examples
 family and if they have children after
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
 of 31 or 32 they must ignore some bad habits
such
 as chilling with friends in late night, parties, other habits, which one bad for themselves.
On the other hand
, some people believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
marriage
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 personal
decision
 in everyone’s life.
In addition
, it is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 matter of
entire
Correct article usage
the entire
show examples
 lifespan, because
marry
Wrong verb form
marrying
show examples
 someone without checking
women
Fix the agreement mistake
woman
show examples
 background
such
 as
entire
Correct pronoun usage
their entire
her entire
his entire
show examples
 bio-data and family financial background
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is not
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 great
decision
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a woman or a man.
However
, youngsters want to explore the world and
marriage
 a girl who
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
 from
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
 culture as well as it is
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
sign
Add the particle
to sign
show examples
 to learn other
nations
Change noun form
nations'
nation's
show examples
 traditions. Agglomerating all points above elaborated, I opine that
marriage
 is not important to enjoy the
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 time, but before
marriage
Add a comma
,marriage
show examples
 a person
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 able to take responsibility for
entire
Add an article
the entire
show examples
 family as well as have
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
enough
saving
Fix the agreement mistake
savings
show examples
 to secure
lifespan
Correct article usage
a lifespan
show examples
.
Submitted by rahulgpatel19 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • matrimonial timing
  • fertility issues
  • career-oriented
  • financial security
  • societal norms
  • generational divide
  • personal fulfillment
  • personality development
  • biological clock
  • extended adolescence
  • family planning
  • child rearing
  • socioeconomic factors
  • traditional milestones
What to do next:
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