IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

IN SOME COUNTRIES MORE AND MORE ADULTS ARE CONTINUING TO LIVE WITH PARENTS EVEN AFTER COMPLETING THEIR EDUCATION AND GETTING JOBS. DO THE ADVANTAGES OUTWIEGH DISADVANTAGES

#countries #adults #parents #education #jobs #outwiegh
In numerous countries, more
people
 after their teenage period prefer to reside with their
parents
 after even they graduated from their educational establishment and obtained a career. In my point of view, there are more drawbacks than benefits, since they will face immense efforts in the future and will not manage their deal due to a lack of experience.
First
 and foremost, elder
people
 who live with their
parents
 will be damaged by
life
 problems.
Life
 is a substantial structure of efforts and only unshakable
people
 can manage it,
nevertheless
, independence is the most required characteristic.
Therefore
, if a person desires to gain the best in
life
, he has to make the
first
 steps toward self-care.
This
 problem is especially eligible in
Correct your spelling
countries
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
 of West Europe, where
life
 with biological
parents
 even in middle age is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a normal
Correct your spelling
appearance
appearence
Correct your spelling
appearance
,
consequently
, those millions
"children"
Change preposition
of "children"
show examples
 have been a victim of
life
 difficulties. According to the London University of Business
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
, over 85%
participants
Change preposition
of participants
show examples
 who used to reside in
"
Correct article usage
the "comfort
show examples
comfort
 area" did not own any abilities of daily routine
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
to clear
Change the verb form
clearing
show examples
 floors,
cook
Wrong verb form
cooking
show examples
 a proper meal or even
throw
Wrong verb form
throwing
show examples
trush
Correct your spelling
trash
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 a bin,
therefore
 they married in
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
old age and faced to daily problems.
Secondly
, is an
Correct your spelling
insufficient
show examples
unsufficient
Correct your spelling
insufficient
show examples
 amount of knowledge about real
life
. Everyone should realize that their
parents
 will not support them
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 an endless period.
The death
Correct article usage
Death
show examples
 is an inevitable process,
additionally
,
people
 should be flexible. After the death of
guardians
Add a comma
,guardians
show examples
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
 can obtain a heritage from them,
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
 a house or an apartment, notwithstanding, the lack of facilities of
Correct your spelling
independence
indepence
Correct your spelling
independence
 will lead to the same consequences, the loss of anything. To keep a certain real estate in a profitable condition person needs management skills, which he gets when he
leave
Change the verb form
leaves
show examples
 the borders of
comfort
Correct pronoun usage
his comfort
show examples
 zone.
For instance
, according to the
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 of the
Pensilvania
Correct your spelling
Pennsylvania
 university of business management, descendants of rich
enterpreneurs
Correct your spelling
entrepreneurs
, who could not escape
area
Add an article
the area
show examples
 of
comfort
 went bankrupt
their
Change preposition
with their
show examples
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
"s
deal
Fix the agreement mistake
deals
show examples
, due to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lack of knowledge.
This
 example depicts that
comfort
 zone can collapse
humans
Change noun form
humans'
human's
show examples
 instincts
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
survive
Replace the word
survival
show examples
. In conclusion, mankind"s psychology depends on
his
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 decisions in
life
.
Life
 can be demanding or challenging especially for
people
 who lived with their guardians and did not receive any
life
 abilities. As
45th
Correct article usage
the 45th
show examples
 president of the USA Donald Trump said, "
life
 won't be kinder to you if you don't even have any survival skills."
This
 quote is meaningful, yet
this
 problem rapidly increases like wildfire.
Submitted by bekeyeva_a on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: