Some people claim that there are more disadvantages of the car than its advantages. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, people tend to think that having a

car

brings more benefits. In modern society, the

car

is a secondary need because it is one of the efficient ways to travel within the city. I totally agree with the statement that a

car

is what we need currently.

Accordingly

this

essay will explain the advantages of private cars for people.

First

of all, in our community, taking public transportation is easier

this

recent

Change the word

recently

show examples

time

Therefore

, there are so many public transports

such

as train or bus which requires great service and cheap fares. But sometimes if we commute by public transportation, we might need extra physical activities because it is always crowded in the morning and evening when everyone goes back home after work. So, it is more effective to take a private

car

to avoid the rush hour.

Secondly

, going to another city by private

car

is saving more

time

. In

this

modern world, there are so many cities’ highways as a shortcut to a place.

For instance

, when we go to Bandung, it takes only 3 hours by the Padalarang highway. ,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

Consequently

Add a comma

,Consequently

show examples

we could spend extra

time

with family and could go to other various tourist objects by

car

Thirdly

, cars provide modern technology

such

as self-driving.

Moreover

, it only needs electricity to run the

car

to save our earth from global climate change.

For example

, Tesla and

wuiling

Correct your spelling

wailing

writing

produce their electric

car

and it shows high demand in our societies. In conclusion, there is a plethora of private

car

nowadays is increasing safety technology and saving our

time

efficiently.

Submitted by Erikagrace06 on Thu Dec 08 2022

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

264 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.5

Complete response

8.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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