IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some high schools require all students to wear school uniforms. Other high schools permit students to decide what to wear to school. Which of these two school policies do you think is better?

Colleges have different policies on school
uniforms
Use synonyms
. Some force the students to wear them, but others allow the learners to make their own decisions. In
this
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 essay, I will argue that it is more beneficial to
demand
Verb problem
require
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 all school attendees to be in official regalia. I
write
Verb problem
will write
show examples
 more about
this
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 position below. First and foremost, it is better to make
uniforms
Use synonyms
 compulsory for high
scholars
Check wording
school students
show examples
 to erase any class differences among them. Doing so helps to level the ground and encourages those from lower classes to academically express themselves without any fear of discrimination.
For example
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, a 2018 survey conducted in China reported that schools which followed the national policy on
uniforms
Use synonyms
 managed to reduce bullying by almost 90 per cent in a period of one year.
Secondly
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, regalia brings order to the everyday functioning of schools. It makes it easy to establish who is the learner and who is the teacher, and creates an environment of respect.
This
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 is why,
for instance
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, in the same research conducted in China, it was established that the Chinese high scholars investigated were cultured, respectful and disciplined.
On the other hand
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, it makes sense, to a lesser extent, to imagine that democratising high school regalia promotes a culture of independent thinking and decision making among students.
That is
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 because students must plan on a daily basis what to wear, a process that makes them develop skills in
decision making
Use the right word
decision-making
show examples
.
However
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, even
then
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,
this
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 promotes an unhealthy competition amongst learners based on class and wealth. In conclusion,
therefore
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, I argue that a legal framework requiring college attendees to wear
uniforms
Use synonyms
 outweighs a more democratic one because it promotes fairness and teaches them discipline. These points were discussed above.

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coherence
Make sure each paragraph clearly connects to the main idea. Each point should lead into the next smoothly.
task achievement
Try to add more examples to support your ideas, as it will strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion on the topic, which is important in task response.
coherence
Your essay has a logical flow, making it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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