Some people say that adversiting is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In today's world,
advertisement
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is everywhere to induce us to consume more. Some
people
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believe that advertising has considerable success, but others conflict with
this
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statement by saying that
commercials
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are so popular and they no longer attract us.
This
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essay will explain both sides of
this
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discussion and provide examples. Marketing still influences
people
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to persuade them to buy something.
This
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effect causes
people
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to buy something they have already seen in a commercial, even if they don't need it or want it. The
advertisement
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makes
people
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think they must have the item which is advertised.
For example
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, when individuals see numerous influencers use a product on the Internet, they start to feel like they must have that product, too, buying that item.
This
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example proves that
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advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
achieves to be
Verb problem
are
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successful.
On the other hand
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, the
advertisement
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might lose its power because
people
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are exposed to
commercials
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consistently, which causes ignoring any sales tactics.
For instance
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, if
people
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see many
commercials
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on an online streaming platform, they cancel their memberships because they find the
commercials
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irritating.
This
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statement shows that maybe, marketing skills must be changed. From my point of view, persuading
people
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through
commercials
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still makes its duty and
receives
Verb problem
achieves
show examples
its goal.
Moreover
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,
advertisement
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boosts consumerism in society by being overwhelmingly popular.
Hence
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we are still looking at
commercials
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before buying something. In conclusion, the
advertisement
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might divide society whether it is related to today's world. In my opinion, its success outweighs the
people
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's attention to it.
People
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might decide with their experiences.
Submitted by yigitakyolmd on

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Grammar
There are noticeable grammar errors throughout the essay. Please review your use of verb tenses and subject-verb agreement.
Vocabulary
Word choice could be improved in some places to better convey your intended meaning. For example, the phrase 'advertising might divide society' is ambiguous and it is not clear what you mean by this.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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