Some people say that adversiting is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In today's world,
advertisement
is everywhere to induce us to consume more. Some
people
believe that advertising has considerable success, but others conflict with
this
statement by saying that
commercials
are so popular and they no longer attract us.
This
essay will explain both sides of
this
discussion and provide examples. Marketing still influences
people
to persuade them to buy something.
This
effect causes
people
to buy something they have already seen in a commercial, even if they don't need it or want it. The
advertisement
makes
people
think they must have the item which is advertised.
For example
, when individuals see numerous influencers use a product on the Internet, they start to feel like they must have that product, too, buying that item.
This
example proves that
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
achieves to be
Verb problem
are
show examples
successful.
On the other hand
, the
advertisement
might lose its power because
people
are exposed to
commercials
consistently, which causes ignoring any sales tactics.
For instance
, if
people
see many
commercials
on an online streaming platform, they cancel their memberships because they find the
commercials
irritating.
This
statement shows that maybe, marketing skills must be changed. From my point of view, persuading
people
through
commercials
still makes its duty and
receives
Verb problem
achieves
show examples
its goal.
Moreover
,
advertisement
boosts consumerism in society by being overwhelmingly popular.
Hence
we are still looking at
commercials
before buying something. In conclusion, the
advertisement
might divide society whether it is related to today's world. In my opinion, its success outweighs the
people
's attention to it.
People
might decide with their experiences.
Submitted by yigitakyolmd on

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Grammar
There are noticeable grammar errors throughout the essay. Please review your use of verb tenses and subject-verb agreement.
Vocabulary
Word choice could be improved in some places to better convey your intended meaning. For example, the phrase 'advertising might divide society' is ambiguous and it is not clear what you mean by this.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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