Many doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly, but most patients do not follow an exercise routine. Why do you think this happens? How can people be encouraged to exercise regularly?

#doctors #people #exercise #patients

Many doctors advise

pensioners

to do

sports

regularly but most

pensioners

do not listen to the recommendations. I think

this

is due to the fact that

people

find

sports

very difficult. In order for older

people

to practice

sports

more often, doctors can arrange special clubs for them and teach

simple

Correct pronoun usage

them simple

show examples

physical

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

there.

Firstly

, older

people

are hard to get into

sports

because they understand being active as an overwhelming task. Whereas when an older person is advised to do

sports

, the most difficult thing is to start exercising.

For example

, my grandmother was offered at least 10,000 steps a day. It's easy for her to follow directions, since she goes to physical education three times a week, does gardening, and takes lots of walks.

However

while

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

my grandfather worked a lot sitting down, which makes it even harder for him to walk as he gets older.

In addition

in order to increase life (продолжительность), we need to encourage

pensioners

to be active.

For example

, the state can build special gyms for the elderly. Together with doctors and teachers

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

do classes in nature or in the pool.

People

need to be shown that doing

sports

is not always hard, that it can be fun, and

then

health will improve. In

this

way

Add a comma

,way

show examples

you will be motivated to be more active. After that, life expectancy will increase and retirees will get sick less. In conclusion, it's hard for

pensioners

to start exercising because it seems difficult and incompatible with their lifestyle. Whereas we can fix

this

by providing classes in an interesting way for old

people

to feel comfortable and confident.

This

will help

people

be healthier and more active.

Submitted by natshar on Thu Dec 08 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some people say that school children should be given individual class work, while others think that working in small groups is better for them. Discuss both approaches and include your own opinion.
Over the last few decades, there has been a big debate about whether children should be taught in crowds or not. A few folks believe that tasks should be provided individually while others believe it should be in the team. Nevertheless, I opine that it would be better, if these lessons are provided in organization due to several reasons namely communication skills in offspring and the following paragraphs will expatiate both states with lucid examples.
6.5
band
Social media helps people to keep in touch with friends and stay on top of news and events. Do you think the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?
The existence of social media sparks much controversy among society. However, some people argue that it causes the erasure of societal norms and customs, while others believe that it benefits the public to connect with long-distance relatives. This essay will discuss both sides and why I believe the merit of social media offsets the disadvantage that follows it.
5
band
In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
People are moving from countryside to cities and population in rural areas are decreasing recently and many countries facing with this trend. I think this action has lots of positive outcomes from society and sustainability aspects, however, it also has some drawbacks.
6
band
21.Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that individuals should look for ways to survive global warming rather than stop it. This essay disagrees with that statement because climate change leads to world destruction and the disappearance of humans’ principal needs.
5.5
band
Some people think that getting a degree from a university is the best way to guarantee a good job, others believe that it would be better to go straight into work and get experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Few people argue that best job could be availed by getting through University education only, as it offers enough opportunity to get exposed with variety of practical experiments where ones could discover his choice of capacity.however, others believe that getting into direct at work and have their experience, by adopting this option might save them from wasting their time and money, I believe that every individual should be given opportunity to develop himself and identify his area of strength and weakness till he reaches to certain age where they can work independently.

Many doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly, but most patients do not follow an exercise routine. Why do you think this happens? How can people be encouraged to exercise regularly?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people say that school children should be given individual class work, while others think that working in small groups is better for them. Discuss both approaches and include your own opinion.

Social media helps people to keep in touch with friends and stay on top of news and events. Do you think the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

21.Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that getting a degree from a university is the best way to guarantee a good job, others believe that it would be better to go straight into work and get experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.