Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be closed down. Others however believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.

#people #zoos #animals

Zoos

are popular and attractive

places

for

people

to visit and learn knowledge about wild

animals

. Several

people

claim that

zoos

should be eliminated because of vital reasons, while some of them argue that

zoos

provide benefits to both

animals

and humans. In my opinion, I strongly believe that

zoos

should not be banned because

zoos

are not cruel

places

. To commence with, at

first

glance it can be thought that

animals

are exposed to live in small cages and

this

situation affects negatively

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people

's views about

zoos

However

, if

people

consider the backgrounds of

zoos

, they can advocate that

zoos

are noticeable

places

. Many wild

animals

have had extinction due to the fact that attitudes of some

people

such

as overhunting and environmental pollution. Zoo staffs find the

animals

that have faced threats of elimination and they bring the

animals

zoo

Add an article

the zoo

show examples

. These

animals

are protected in

zoos

and their life expectancy can be increased with some measures.

In addition

this

also

thanks to

zoos

animals

are fed unlike in wild. Their

cares

Fix the agreement mistake

care

show examples

are followed by staff and they carry out medical process if

animals

need

Correct pronoun usage

itneed

show examples

. If

zoos

are closed, when

animals

get sick they cannot treat.

Therefore

, they may die due to their sickness.

On the other hand

zoos

provide advantages not only to

animals

but

also

people

People

visit

zoos

and they can enjoy

with

Correct pronoun usage

themselves with

show examples

animals

Moreover

, they can contribute new considerable information about

animals

to themselves. In conclusion,

zoos

play a crucial role in

improvement

Add an article

the improvement

show examples

animals

and humans. These

places

are not harmful

for

Change the preposition

show examples

animals

if appropriate conditions are applied.

Submitted by merttufan197 on Thu Dec 08 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

animal welfare
conservation
captive breeding
habitat
ethical issues
zoochosis
endangered species
genetic diversity
reintroduction programs
wildlife education
sanctuary
natural living conditions
artificial environments
behavioral enrichment
ecosystem

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