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Writing Samples
Band 6

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #health #future
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Our
health
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 plays a crucial role in our
overall
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 well-being. There is a growing concern that people might be more susceptible to illnesses in the
future
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 compared to the present moment.
This
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 essay explores
this
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 concern by delving into the factors contributing to
this
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 potential situation. In the present day, an increasing number of individuals prioritize their
health
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. Many adopt a conscientious approach, maintaining a healthy diet and an active lifestyle to ensure the fitness of their bodies. The availability of fresh fruits and vegetables contributes to accessible and nutritious food choices. The current environmental condition, still relatively undamaged, allows for outdoor spaces that serve as great platforms for exercise and rejuvenation, contributing to both physical and mental
health
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.
However
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, the
future
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 is uncertain, and there are no guarantees that the current
health
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-conscious trend will persist. Some argue that ongoing environmental issues could have detrimental effects on the
future
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. Issues
such
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 as pollution, climate change, and the potential decline in air quality and nutritious food availability pose significant risks to people's
health
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. If these situations persist, the
health
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 of individuals in the
future
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 could be at risk. In conclusion, predicting the
future
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 of public
health
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 is challenging. The present moment offers a critical window to shape positive outcomes. The intricate interplay between environmental factors and daily lifestyle choices will determine the
health
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 landscape ahead. By maintaining healthy lifestyles, addressing environmental challenges proactively, and fostering a collective commitment to well-being, individuals today can significantly influence a healthier
future
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.
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, it is important that you make sure your ideas are not only arranged in a logical order but are also clearly linked. Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to better demonstrate the relationship between concepts.
task achievement
Regarding task achievement, while you have addressed the prompt to a fair degree, it is essential that you delve deeper into the subject. Provide clearer, more comprehensive ideas, and support them with relevant, specific examples to establish and strengthen your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
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