Unemployment is a growing problem all over the world. What are the causes of this? What could be done to help tackle this issue? To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#unemployment #world

In the recent modern world, the issue of unemployment is becoming more and more serious. Rapid changing

industry

structures, helped by the advent of the internet

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

the main driver of

this

serious problem.

Also

unstable

Correct article usage

the unstable

show examples

world economy due to the recent pandemic and wars are critical reasons as well. I completely agree with the idea that

unemplyment

Correct your spelling

unemployment

is one of the most significant and growing

world-wide

Correct your spelling

worldwide

show examples

issues and would like to propose some opinions on its causes and solutions. The

first

and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

most significant cause of

this

problem is the impact of the recent pandemic and the war.

For example

, due to the prolonged impact

from

Change preposition

show examples

COVID-19, the travel and entertainment

industry

received devastating damage.

As a result

, companies in the

industry

had no choice but to reduce

head

Correct article usage

the head

show examples

counts of the staff working for them.

Likewise

, many other sections of

industry

needed to go through a similar path. The

second

significant reason is the advent of the internet and digitization. Now that many positions can be replaced by digital tools and robotics, the number of clerical jobs required at

work places

Correct your spelling

workplaces

show examples

is decreasing. While people's life is becoming more convenient, some segment of workers were seriously impacted by

this

move.

For example

, at convenience stores, self-registration machines are replacing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

shop cashiers.

Also

, at some

restarurants

Correct your spelling

restaurants

and hotels, robot employees can handle customers so that human interaction can be

minimum

Replace the word

minimized

show examples

in the current circumstances. To counter

these status

Change the determiner

this status

these statuses

show examples

Correct article usage

the goverment

show examples

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

should introduce reskilling programs

Change preposition

for

show examples

those people who lost jobs and make maximum effort to deploy them to other

industories

Correct your spelling

industries

in the future.

Also

, they have to implement a subsidy program

Change preposition

for

show examples

private companies to keep their employees with the organization and encourage them to pursue different career paths. In conclusion, the issue of increasing

jobless

Correct article usage

the jobless

show examples

ratio is one of the most critical issues of today. They are caused by

macro

Add an article

the macro

show examples

economy as well as by the change of the structure of

industry

Add an article

the industry

an industry

show examples

. To solve

this

huge issue,

Correct article usage

the goverment

show examples

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

and

privage

Correct your spelling

private

sectors should take bold

actions

Fix the agreement mistake

action

show examples

together.

Submitted by michima2011 on Fri Dec 09 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

339 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Nowadays online shopping is rapidly replacing physical shopping in stores. What are the positives and negatives of this development, in your opinion? Give some relevant examples.
Undeniable, online shopping has become highly popular amoung people these days. Despite the drawbacks, buying through the internet may have some adventages that can result in saveing time and wide variety options. This essay will discuss both pros and cons about electronic purchases after a logical conclusion.
5.5
band
You have a friend who lives in a different country. You will organise a party soon and have thought to use a foreign recipe. Write a letter to the friend asking for a recipe from his/her country for the party you are organizing. In your letter, tell your friend about the party ask for the recipe explain ntwhy you need the recipe from his/her coury
Recently, I was thinking about throwing a get together party to my school friends. This is a holiday month and perfect time to throw a party so that all of us have the time to join.
4.5
band
Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times. They don’t want their children to read any entertaiment books because they think it is wast of time. Do you agree or disagree?
Many parents believe that educational books should be put in first piority for their children instead of other books since reading those books are a waste of time. The writer believe that parents should allow for their children to read what they like and this can promote their decision making skill also help them avoid academic stress.
5
band
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Children nowadays want to focus on multiple subjects rather than only studying their major course. Some student argues that they should be given opportunities to learn other subjects also. However, other says their complete focus should be limited to their major course. In my opinion, children should study other things also along with their main subjects as it multiple benefits when it comes to their career.
7
band
Climate change is a big environmental problem that has become critical in the last couple of decades. Some people claim that humans should stop burning fossil fuels and use only alternative energy resources, such as wind and solar power. Others say that oil, gas, and coal are essential for many industries, and not using them will lead to economic collapse. What is your opinion? Support your point of view with relevant examples.
Recently, climate change has contributed to several issues in the last decades. Some say humans should not burn fossil fuels and use only alternative energy resources like solar panels and wind turbines. Others argue that oil, gas, and coal play significant roles in many factories, and not using them will lead to a financial crisis. I agree with both of them and will outline my views below.

Unemployment is a growing problem all over the world. What are the causes of this? What could be done to help tackle this issue? To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays online shopping is rapidly replacing physical shopping in stores. What are the positives and negatives of this development, in your opinion? Give some relevant examples.

Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times. They don’t want their children to read any entertaiment books because they think it is wast of time. Do you agree or disagree?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.