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Band 6

SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THE EDUCATION SYSTEM IS THE ONLY CRITICAL FACTOR TO DEVELOPMENT OF A COUNTRY. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT?

#people #education #system #factor #development #country
Nowadays,
education
 is the key to success. Without
it
Add a comma
,it
show examples
 no one can easily survive in these surroundings. Some individuals believe that the
education
 system is only a factor
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of a country. I partially disagree with the above statement.
To begin
,
education
 is necessary nowadays, but it is not only a key to
reach
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
success. Communities take
education
 for earning money. Some
people
 are still here who do not take any kind of schooling and,
still
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,still
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 they are the top richest man in the world.
For instance
, a great cricketer, Virat Kohli” is illiterate, but still he is a famous cricketer all over the world.
Secondly
, there are 1000
of
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apply
show examples
people
 who do not take schooling and
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
 they earn much more than educated
people
.
For example
, our honourable prime minister Narendra Modi, he is
also
belonging
Wrong verb form
belongs
show examples
 to a very poor family and for that reason, he has not able to take an
education
,
however
 today, he has that much strength to run the country.
On the other hand
, not all
people
 have the ability to earn money without an
education
. Sometimes,
education
 is crucial for employment.
For instance
, there are some jobs in which,
education
 is a must
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 teachers, doctors, government posts and many more. Agglomerating all the above points elaborated, I would like to conclude that for employment,
education
 is necessary, but in general life, without
education
,
people
 can take success.
In addition
, there are an ample of
people
 who are uneducated and still earn much more rather than those educated.
Submitted by rahulgpatel19 on

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