IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THE EDUCATION SYSTEM IS THE ONLY CRITICAL FACTOR TO DEVELOPMENT OF A COUNTRY. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT?

#people #education #system #factor #development #country
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
education
Use synonyms
 is the key to success. Without
it
Add a comma
,it
show examples
 no one can easily survive in these surroundings. Some individuals believe that the
education
Use synonyms
 system is only a factor
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of a country. I partially disagree with the above statement.
To begin
Linking Words
,
education
Use synonyms
 is necessary nowadays, but it is not only a key to
reach
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
success. Communities take
education
Use synonyms
 for earning money. Some
people
Use synonyms
 are still here who do not take any kind of schooling and,
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
 they are the top richest man in the world.
For instance
Linking Words
, a great cricketer, Virat Kohli” is illiterate, but still he is a famous cricketer all over the world.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there are 1000
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who do not take schooling and
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
 they earn much more than educated
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, our honourable prime minister Narendra Modi, he is
also
Linking Words
belonging
Wrong verb form
belongs
show examples
 to a very poor family and for that reason, he has not able to take an
education
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
 today, he has that much strength to run the country.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, not all
people
Use synonyms
 have the ability to earn money without an
education
Use synonyms
. Sometimes,
education
Use synonyms
 is crucial for employment.
For instance
Linking Words
, there are some jobs in which,
education
Use synonyms
 is a must
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 teachers, doctors, government posts and many more. Agglomerating all the above points elaborated, I would like to conclude that for employment,
education
Use synonyms
 is necessary, but in general life, without
education
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 can take success.
In addition
Linking Words
, there are an ample of
people
Use synonyms
 who are uneducated and still earn much more rather than those educated.
Submitted by rahulgpatel19 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: